Sunday, July 05, 2020

An Appetizer For Thought

In case you weren’t aware of it, I like a good conspiracy theory. Elvis faking his death, the government coverup concerning aliens and Area 51, The Clintons, and et cetera.

I’m hearing a LOT of conspiracy theories about COVID-19. China loosed it to attack America… It’s here to destroy Trump, destroy his chances of re-election… It’s a Democratic ploy to attack the rights of American citizens… The Democrats are using it to destroy Trump and conservatism… It’s here to kill small businesses… They’re padding the numbers and contributing every death to the disease... Blah, blah, blah

Again, I like a good conspiracy theory. The Assassination of JFK is one that I actually believe. But all these COVID-19 conspiracies are ridiculous.

Look, I’m not the smartest guy in the world. But where is the logic in some of these conspiracies?

All right my right-wing friends… Here’s a possible conspiracy theory that I’m seeing that you’re not…

The Democrats who are attacking your rights by mandating masks in public DO NOT WANT YOU TO WEAR A MASK. They want you to catch the COVID-19. They don’t want you to show up on election day. They want you to die. They want you locked away in ICUs, in hospitals, and at home. They don’t want you out voting. They don’t really want you wearing masks. Because if anyone that identifies themselves as a liberal that wants you to wear a mask for the safety of everyone, they’ll be seen as someone that doesn’t have your freedom of choice in mind. They want you to buck the system. They want you to get your conservative friends sick. They want conservative voices quiet when election day comes.

Conservatives have gotten governors to fall to the Re-Open pressures. Non-mask wearing people are crowding everywhere as if there’s no threat except to their God-given rights NOT to wear a mask. They believe all the conservative outlets that masks don’t help.

Perhaps those outlets are feeding you BS to help you right into the hospitals, ICUs, and self-quarantines?

As I see it… If there is a conspiracy, they’re trying to kill off conservatives with the virus. LOTS of conservatives believe that masks don’t help. Everyone wants to get the economy going again, but the liberals realize that conservatives will just carry on as if the virus is merely a bad cold. The conservatives will fall victim to a greater conspiracy that they cannot even see.

Now THAT’S an attack on Trump and conservatives! Say anything and the conservatives will do the opposite. America is so divided that those conservative cronies will fall like dominos. Biden wins! And Joe and Nancy will replace the stars n’ bars with a hammer and sickle!

Look… If I were a Trumplodyte, I’d wear a mask. I’d be washing my hands until I’m through singing the album version of “In-A-Gadda-Di-Vida”. I’d be using hand-sanitizer until I could feel the alcohol in my bloodstream. I’d be social distancing. I’d do anything the CDC suggests in order to stay alive and healthy so that I could vote for my favorite orange moron in November.

And for the record, I’m voting Jo Jorgensen in November. I’ll be at the polls with a mask on because I actually care about my fellow Americans. When this COVID-19 started I began wearing a mask in public. Why?

Because if you haven’t noticed, China seems to get hit with epidemics all they time. And when they get hit, they’re wearing masks to help stop the spread of the latest virus/infection. They are 1.4 billion of them so they must be doing something right.

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

My AC/DC Scientific Research: For Those About To Rock


I’ve started my scientific research into the hard rock music of AC/DC. It is my theory that AC/DC is the most crash cymbal intensive rock band of all time. This is a long-held theory of mine and I truly believe that my research findings will prove my theory correct.

Cymbal crashes on the high-hat cymbals and “ride” cymbals will not count.

Once my findings are complete, I will present them to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Now I present the findings for the album ‘For Those About To Rock’. This particular release is one of my least favorite albums by the band. It took me a few weeks to get motivated to “score” this one. Perhaps some time has passed or my critical ear has eased up, but I found that I don’t hate it as much as I thought I did.

One drummer: Phil Rudd

“For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)” clocks in at 344 seconds.
222 total crashes
That’s an average crash every 1.5 seconds (CE _._ Sec) for an average of 40 crashes per minute (CPM).

“I Put The Finger On You” 206 seconds.
120 total crashes
CE 1.7 Sec / 35.3 CPM

“Let’s Get It Up” 234 seconds.
139 total crashes
CE 1.7 Sec / 35.3 CPM

“Inject The Venom” 211 seconds.
163 total crashes
CE 1.3 Sec / 46.2 CPM

“Snowballed” 203 seconds
113 total crashes
CE 1.7 Sec / 35.3 CPM

“Evil Walks” 264 seconds
150 total crashes
CE 1.8 Sec / 33.3 CPM

“C.O.D.” 200 seconds
79 total crashes
CE 2.5 Sec / 24 CPM

“Breaking The Rules” 263 seconds
140 total crashes
CE 1.9 Sec / 31.6 CPM

“Night Of The Long Knives” 206 seconds
166 total crashes
CE 1.2 Sec / 50 CPM

“Spellbound” 279 seconds
113 total crashes
CE 2.5 Sec / 24 CPM

The album runs a total time of 2,410 seconds with 1,411 crashes.
The album’s overall average reveals a CE 1.7 Sec / 35.3 CPM

As you can see, ‘For Those About To Rock’ has posted the highest amount of CPMs. This makes ‘For Those…’ the most cymbal intensive album so far. Here are the top 3…
1. For Those About To Rock 35.3 CPM
2. Back In Black 33.3 CPM
3. Highway To Hell 25 CPM
All produced by Robert John “Mutt” Lange. Interesting, isn’t it?

The Drummer cymbal crash breakdown up to this point:
Tony Currenti – 596 seconds / 191 crashes / CE 3.1 Sec / 19.4 CPM
Unknown Drummer – 286 seconds / 71 crashes / CE 2.9 Sec / 20.7 CPM
Peter Clack – 300 seconds / 55 crashes / CE 5.5 Sec / 10.9 CPM
Phil Rudd – 18,618 seconds / 6,999 crashes / CE 2.6 Sec / 23 CPM

As you can see, drummer Phil Rudd passed the unknown drummer and has taken the high throne of AC/DC percussionists!

For the latest research findings, listen to the Wheeler’s Dog Podcast. It’s free wherever you get podcasts, YouTube, and Patreon. They have an app so you won’t miss a single episode at patreon.com/wheelersdog

Tuesday, May 05, 2020

My AC/DC Scientific Research: Back In Black

I’ve started my scientific research into the hard rock music of AC/DC. It is my theory that AC/DC is the most crash cymbal intensive rock band of all time. This is a long-held theory of mine and I truly believe that my research findings will prove my theory correct.

Cymbal crashes on the high-hat cymbals and “ride” cymbals will not count.

Once my findings are complete, I will present them to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Now I present the findings for the album ‘Back In Black’, featuring the debut of new lead singer Brian Johnson.

One drummer: Phil Rudd

“Hells Bells” clocks in at 312 seconds.
186 total crashes
That’s an average crash every 1.7 seconds (CE _._ Sec) for an average of 35.3 crashes per minute (CPM).

“Shoot To Thrill” 317 seconds.
144 total crashes
CE 3.9 Sec / 15.4 CPM

“What Do You Do For Money Honey” 216 seconds.
140 total crashes
CE 1.5 Sec / 40 CPM

“Givin’ The Dog A Bone” 212 seconds.
132 total crashes
CE 1.6 Sec / 37.5 CPM

“Let Me Put My Love Into You” 255 seconds
113 total crashes
CE 2.3 Sec / 26.1 CPM

“Back In Black” 255 seconds
116 total crashes
CE 2.2 Sec / 27.3 CPM

“You Shook Me All Night Long” 210 seconds
68 total crashes
CE 3.1 Sec / 19.4 CPM

“Have A Drink On Me” 238 seconds
144 total crashes
CE 1.7 Sec / 35.3 CPM

“Shake A Leg” 246 seconds
128 total crashes
CE 1.9 Sec / 31.6 CPM

“Rock ‘n’ Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution” 266 seconds
117 total crashes
CE 2.3 Sec / 26.1 CPM

The album runs a total time of 3,527 seconds with 1,437 crashes.
The album’s overall average reveals a CE 1.8 Sec / 33.3 CPM

As you can see, ‘Back In Black’ has posted the highest amount of CPMs. Drummer Phil Rudd has apparently sold his soul to the Zildjian gods.

The Drummer cymbal crash breakdown up to this point:
Tony Currenti – 596 seconds / 191 crashes / CE 3.1 Sec / 19.4 CPM
Unknown Drummer – 286 seconds / 71 crashes / CE 2.9 Sec / 20.7 CPM
Peter Clack – 300 seconds / 55 crashes / CE 5.5 Sec / 10.9 CPM
Phil Rudd – 16,208 seconds / 5,588 crashes / CE 2.9 Sec / 20.7 CPM

As you can see, drummer Phil Rudd’s gained .2 on the Crash Every Sec with a 1.3 CMP increase with this album. He has TIED the unknown drummer and SURPASSED drummer Tony Currenti! Mr. Rudd is well on his way to proving my theory about the music of AC/DC.

For the latest research findings, listen to the Wheeler’s Dog Podcast. It’s free wherever you get podcasts, YouTube, and Patreon. They have an app so you won’t miss a single episode at patreon.com/wheelersdog

Thursday, April 30, 2020

My AC/DC Scientific Research: Highway To Hell

I’ve started my scientific research into the hard rock music of AC/DC. It is my theory that AC/DC is the most crash cymbal intensive rock band of all time. This is a long-held theory of mine and I truly believe that my research findings will prove my theory correct.

Cymbal crashes on the high-hat cymbals and “ride” cymbals will not count.

Once my findings are complete, I will present them to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Now I present the findings for the album ‘Highway To Hell’.

One drummer: Phil Rudd

This is the first album where the band moved away from brother George Young and Harry Vonda as producers. Robert John “Mutt” Lange is behind the board producing this album.

“Highway To Hell” clocks in at 208 seconds.
80 total crashes
That’s an average crash every 2.6 seconds (CE _._ Sec) for an average of 23.1 crashes per minute (CPM).

“Girls Got Rhythm” 203 seconds.
71 total crashes
CE 2.9 Sec / 20.7 CPM

“Walk All Over You” 310 seconds.
219 total crashes
CE 1.4 Sec / 42.9 CPM

“Touch Too Much” 266 seconds.
81 total crashes
CE 3.3 Sec / 18.2 CPM

“Beating Around The Bush” 236 seconds
127 total crashes
CE 1.9 Sec / 31.6 CPM

“Shot Down In Flames” 203 seconds
97 total crashes
CE 2.1 Sec / 28.6 CPM

“Get It Hot” 155 seconds
49 total crashes
CE 3.2 Sec / 18.8 CPM

“If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)” 274 seconds
90 total crashes
CE 3 Sec / 20 CPM

“Love Hungry Man” 257 seconds
121 total crashes
CE 2.1 Sec / 28.6 CPM

“Night Prowler” 388 seconds
97 total crashes
CE 4 Sec / 15 CPM

The album runs a total time of 2,500 seconds with 1,032 crashes.
The album’s overall average reveals a CE 2.4 Sec / 25 CPM

The Drummer cymbal crash breakdown up to this point:
Tony Currenti – 596 seconds / 191 crashes / CE 3.1 Sec / 19.4 CPM
Unknown Drummer – 286 seconds / 71 crashes / CE 2.9 Sec / 20.7 CPM
Peter Clack – 300 seconds / 55 crashes / CE 5.5 Sec / 10.9 CPM
Phil Rudd – 12,681 seconds / 4,151 crashes / CE 3.1 Sec / 19.4 CPM

As you can see, drummer Phil Rudd’s gained .1 on the Crash Every Sec with a 1.2 CMP increase with this album. He’s still gaining on the unknown drummer and has tied Tony Currenti.

For the latest research findings, listen to the Wheeler’s Dog Podcast. It’s free wherever you get podcasts, YouTube, and Patreon. They have an app so you won’t miss a single episode. Just CLICK RIGHT HERE FOR THE DIRECT LINK TO THE PODCAST

Monday, April 27, 2020

My Scientific AC/DC Research: Powerage

I’ve started my scientific research into the hard rock music of AC/DC. It is my theory that AC/DC is the most crash cymbal intensive rock band of all time. This is a long-held theory of mine and I truly believe that my research findings will prove my theory correct.

Cymbal crashes on the high-hat cymbals and “ride” cymbals will not count.

Once my findings are complete, I will present them to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Now I present the findings for the album ‘Powerage’.

One drummer: Phil Rudd

“Rock ‘n’ Roll Damnation” clocks in at 218 seconds.
72 total crashes
That’s an average crash every 3.0 seconds (CE _._ Sec) for an average of 20 crashes per minute (CPM).

“Down Payment Blues” 364 seconds.
62 total crashes
CE 5.9 Sec / 10.2 CPM

“Gimme A Bullet” 202 seconds.
36 total crashes
CE 5.6 Sec / 10.8 CPM

“Riff Raff” 312 seconds.
209 total crashes
CE 1.5 Sec / 40 CPM

“Sin City” 285 seconds
125 total crashes
CE 2.3 Sec / 26.1 CPM

“What’s Next To The Moon” 212 seconds
112 total crashes
CE 1.9 Sec / 31.6 CPM

“Gone Shootin’” 306 seconds
33 total crashes
CE 9.3 Sec / 6.5 CPM

“Up To My Neck In You” 253 seconds
85 total crashes
CE 3 Sec / 20 CPM

“Kicked In The Teeth” 243 seconds
100
CE 2.4 Sec / 25 CPM

The album runs a total time of 2,395 seconds with 834 crashes.
The album’s overall average reveals a CE 2.9 Sec / 20.9 CPM

The Drummer cymbal crash breakdown up to this point:
Tony Currenti – 596 seconds / 191 crashes / CE 3.1 Sec / 19.4 CPM
Unknown Drummer – 286 seconds / 71 crashes / CE 2.9 Sec / 20.7 CPM
Peter Clack – 300 seconds / 55 crashes / CE 5.5 Sec / 10.9 CPM
Phil Rudd – 10,181 seconds / 3,119 crashes / CE 3.3 Sec / 18.2 CPM

As you can see, drummer Phil Rudd’s gained .1 on the Crash Every Sec with a .6 CMP increase on this album. He’s gaining on the unknown drummer and Tony Currenti.

For the latest research findings, listen to the Wheeler’s Dog Podcast.