Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Foreigner 'Inside Information'

Over the past week, I have come to realize something. It’s nothing important although there are many out there that are willing to fight me to the death in disagreement.

The NBA Championship is being settled on Thursday night.

Back around Memorial Day, I was at Triangle Billiards in High Point for the Benjomatic show. The bar had sports on everywhere. That’s where I first saw Danica... Crap! I forgot her last name. Oh well, she ain’t NASCAR so it doesn’t really matter.

I also noticed that there were basketball games on the televisions. For some reason, I thought that basketball was over. I thought that Triangle Billiards had ESPN Classic on every TV.

To me, basketball is the second most boring sport in the world, right behind soccer. And judging from the post game interviews, I also think that it’s a sport for simpletons.

“You know what I’m saying.... You know..... Step up.... You know... You know what I’m saying?”

No, I don’t know what you’re saying because you’re not saying it.

Listen for it after the game is over Thursday night. But, I will give the NBA players some credit... They sound smarter in interviews than Dale Earnhardt Junior does. Now THAT GUY... sounds like an idiot.

I remember discussing basketball with a coworker at a previous job because everyone was all into the NCAA tournament. I was at a small table with some ladies that didn’t give two mouse droppings about the games either.

Anthony Okoro asked me why I didn’t like basketball and I simply told him that it was boring.

“Boring?” He asked in his African accent.

I explained that basketball was just boring. There’s nothing going on except people running up and down a court and passing the ball to the mofo that can score. If there’s any contact among the players, a foul is called and that sucks because I’m all into violence. And when the final seconds are being ran off the clock, they’re aren’t ran off at all. They take FOREVER to click off because of all the time-outs. Twenty seconds can take up to twenty minutes to play out.

“NASCAR is boring,” Anthony said.

“Really,” I said. “When was the last time you saw a basketball player hit a wall at one hundred ninety miles per hour and burst into flames?”

We wasted lots of company time comparing our favorite boring sports.

I remember wasting company time with another employee who didn’t understand why some of us enjoyed professional wrestling. He kept on saying that it was “fake”.

“How can you watch that stuff? It’s fake,” he said.

“Willie, what’s your favorite movie?” I asked.

‘Die Hard’ was his favorite movie at the time and I informed him that they made up everything. The plot was made up. The actors weren’t really who they said that they were. No real bullets were being fired. No one really died in the film. It was all fake.

He just walked away.

3 comments:

  1. ITS DANIKA PATRICK, I WOULDN'T KNOW EITHER IF SHE WASN'T SO HOT!!
    I GOT YOUR BACK ON THE BASKETBALL ISSUE ALSO. I DREAD MARCH MADNESS EVERY YEAR. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID BECAUSE ITS EVERYWHERE.

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  2. I do pretty well avoiding March Madness. My father becomes one with his recliner in March.

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  3. Brad K.12:51 PM

    Darts is the shit.

    ReplyDelete