Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The B-52's 'Cosmic Thing'

Last Friday, I had nothing going on. Marcia Gan also had nothing going on. So, we decided to put our nothings together and do something.

We hit East Coast Wings on Battleground for dinner. ECW has the best wings and chicken fingers in the world. They have over 40 different flavors and my favorite is Mango Habanera.

Marcia ordered more than she could hold and I’m sure that she was eating wings for breakfast on Saturday morning.

We had a few beers and I’m certain that impaired our judgment enough for our next decision… Since we had nothing to do, we decided to go by Barnes & Nobles at Friendly Center. I thought to myself about what books that I could look for and peruse, but since it was nearing 10pm, I asked Marcia how long they were open.

She looked at me as if maggots were falling from my nose and said, “Gene, they’re going to be open past midnight.”

“Why?”

Again she had a look of mild disgust and said, “They’re going to start selling the new Harry Potter book at midnight.”

I knew nothing about it. I cared nothing about it. I explained that I had no desire to read the books. I told her how that the first movie sucked and I didn’t understand why Harry was so popular. From what I understand from the first movie, Harry shouldn’t be the hero at all. His friends are the ones doing all the hard work and saving his ass every time. Why is he getting all the glory?

I thought the movie was incredibly boring. Not quite as boring as ‘The Lord Of The Rings’, but close.

We pulled into the parking lot and it was almost full. News 2 and Fox 8 had their vans out there for live broadcasting. A news crew was interviewing some woman dressed up as a character from the book. A GROWN WOMAN!

I fully expected Vulcans and other Trekkies running around. Hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if some dude was walking around dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS. Geeks were everywhere and they were of all ages. It was insane and we were just in the parking lot.

As we walked into the store, a guy counted me as number 809. What the hell?

Once inside we found the chaos even more insane. We were issued a pair of plastic Harry Potter eyeglasses and a fluorescent wristband with the date of the book’s release on it. The wristband was similar to the “Live strong” Lance Armstrong types. Marcia put one on the same wrist that features two other wristbands. She had one for saving greyhound dogs and one for finding Amelia Earhart.

Adults and children were running around at a fever pitch. They were dressed as characters from the novels.

“Hey! There goes Waldo!” I said after some kid walked by me with eyeglasses and a striped shirt with short pants and stockings up to his knees.

Marcia went up to a potential child molester dressed as a wizard and sat in his chair. He had a hat with a face drawn on it and he put it on Marcia’s head “to determine what school that she should attend”. Then she told me to sit down for my school assignment. Perhaps it was just the moment but I swear that I had a vision of a tiny short bus floating up to my face.

We just walked around the store taking in all the craziness and Marcia said, “You know Gene, J.K. Rowling is one of the richest women in Great Britain.”

“Well someone has to keep the Royal Navy funded,” I replied because the taxes in England are a little steep.

It was time to leave Hog Wart’s or something like that… We got into my truck and Marcia wanted to have another beer. She suggested Keegan’s pub. I suggested a place that I’ve always wanted to go to since drinking age. A place that both of us pass all the time… The Lawndale Drive-In where Battleground and Lawndale come together.

According to the window, the Lawndale Drive-In is the oldest bar in Greensboro. It was established in 1942.

Once inside with cold Yuenglings in our hands, we witnessed with our ears and eyes that karaoke was taking place. We had to walk through the spectacle to get to the patio out back.

I was shocked to find someone that I know there. I had no idea that Mark was a regular and a karaoke singer with a passion for songs by Roxy Music.

The “regular” crowd seemed to be over the age of 30 and no one was making moves to get into someone’s pants. The Lawndale Drive-In doesn’t seem to be a pick-up joint. One lady named Debbie called the place a “redneck Cheers”.

We liked the place and we liked the people. I’m thinking about visiting on a regular basis, it’s very laid back and everyone is friendly.

Feel free to drop in on them and according to the regular folks, Tuesdays are all about dollar beer night.

1 comment:

  1. Me again...1:18 AM

    Oh man.. looks like I was at the wrong store. I chose to go to Borders, although B&N was closer to where I was leaving from. Not that I was buying the book (there) or anything, I just wanted to see what all of the fuss about. I am all about books and am happy the young people are reading, but I just can't see standing in any line 2 hours.
    I thought about pretending to be oblivious and going up to anyone in costume and going "Uhhh, is there something special going on here tonight?" and feiging total ignorance when they spoke of either Harry Potter or the Half-Blood Prince. My friend who, like you, is anti-books, thought she should open her purse and go up and say "Trick or Treat!" Instead, we just wandered around what she called "Harry Potter Hell" mocking people. (And taking pictures of some of the more outrageous ones. I need to upload them, along with the fireworks rocking chair rednecks.)
    Of course, all of those costumed Potter dorks got their books and went home happy, while I was foiled at the Teeter, as the delivery man was late, meaning no copies went on sale until 7AM.

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