Thursday, December 29, 2005

Beastie Boys 'Check Your Head'

I watched ‘Dark Water’ and got that joker back in the mail ASAP. It’s important for me to keep logjams from forming. The flow is important. Keep ‘em coming and going. Let no moss grow under a DVD from Netflix. I’m a junkie, pure and simple. I need a fix everyday.

‘Dark Water’ sucked! Even the lovely Jennifer Connelly couldn’t save it.

You know, I’m starting to worry about her choices in roles. I’m sure that she’s just making a living, but come on. ‘The Incredible Hulk’ really sucked. I still haven’t watched the whole thing. I have it on tape and it’s easy for me to finish it, but it’s just not very interesting.

‘Dark Water’ is about a woman who is dealing with a nasty divorce with child custody at the forefront. She moves into an apartment that’s two steps better than a cardboard box. She also finds out that there’s water everywhere and none of it to drink.

There are some supernatural things going on with her daughter, but it’s disguised as her having an imaginary friend. And quite honestly, the movie is boring as hell. I suggest that you stay away from it.

I think that it’s interesting to point out, there’s probably more water in this film than in ‘Jaws’. It rains during the whole movie. Faucets left running flood the apartment upstairs. There are some water issues in the basement laundry room. The elevator has a leak where water is constantly pooling. The film is VERY water intensive. Hell, there’s even one scene where I think that Connelly is retaining water.

I was watching an episode of ‘Ghost Whisperer’ that I have on tape from a few weeks ago. I really like that program a lot and when I watched it yesterday, I noticed a couple of things…

The ‘Ghost Whisperer’ is REALLY pushing the big boob agenda. There are busty women everywhere on that show. Jennifer Love Hewitt has been blessed with a couple of Winnebagos in her driveway. The token black chick is really hot and during the workout scenes at the gym, she’s sporting skintight exercise apparel. And, she has lovely, full round breasts her damn self.

The story revolves around a woman that the ghost whisperer sees at the gym. She’s dead and wondering why her son and husband don’t talk anymore. Her son is a boxer and he’s preparing for a charity prizefight there at the gym. So, Jennifer Love Hewitt helps her find out what went wrong.

And wouldn’t you know it… The ghost who is in her 50’s is hot and stacked like an IHOP platter. This particular episode is very cleavage intensive.

You’re probably thinking that men are running this show, right?


Hewitt is an executive producer on the show. One writer who is a woman wrote this boxing episode. And the director is none other than Joanna Kerns. You remember the name because she was a TV mom on ‘Growing Pains’.

So… Who is really pushing the “big boob agenda”?

Women like to point to pornography and television aimed towards men and I think that’s wrong a lot of the time. I have always felt that women’s magazines are responsible for making women feel uncomfortable about their bodies. That’s just my opinion.

The other thing that I’ve noticed about these types of shows and movies… The ones that have passed on are always wearing clothing. Why?

If you were a spirit, wouldn’t you be energy? There would be no need for clothing.

But… Perhaps you would have a choice of how you look once you’ve shed your skin and left the body behind. You can wear what you want. You can change things that you couldn’t change as a mortal, like getting that nose job. Maybe you can lose a few pounds. As the dearly departed, you could change whatever you want. You could take any face that you wanted.

Or maybe you can’t change anything because of the perception of one’s self? Or maybe the perceptions of others rule how you would look when you become a spirit? Once your appearance is locked in by the collective conscience, you will always be as you are.

Okay… I’m through being weird and deep.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Ultra Lounge Volume Thirteen 'TV Town'

Today, a major victory was scored against the forces of my laziness. I went down to the Lab, sat down at my computer, and tinkered around with the pictures that I have taken with my new digital camera.

I learned how to resize them and put them onto a floppy disc. Caesar Eugenius of Greensboro has scored a victory and is now ready to conquer the ignorance of his newly acquired technology.

Hell, I may even start posting some pictures on this here blog of mine. Once again, I can feel inspiration welling up from the deepest, darkest, recesses of my soul. I’m as giddy as Dr. Ruth with a new sex toy!

Christmas night at the Blind Tiger was a great time. Bus Stop was there for a reunion show and they were as tight as ever. I still don’t understand why those guys never hit the big time and conquered the world, as we know it.

If you ever hear about these cats doing another show… GO!

The Blind Tiger was packed! You had to walk sideways to get anywhere. You wanted a drink, don’t go to the bar thirsty. You needed to use the bathroom, make that escape route before your bladder starts screaming “NOW!”

Christine joined me and I ended up giving her a lift home. She had one too many Cape Cods and the slightest nor’easter could’ve knocked her over.

It was a night of celebration and it all started with GMC.

Of course, I walked in right in the middle of GMC’s set with Snuzz backing him up on guitar. GMC always starts up rather early because he’s not one for staying up late. I don’t usually show up until around 10pm.

I tried my best to explain the appeal of GMC’s music to Christine, but I don’t think she totally understands or is willing to take the time to understand. To her, some of the stuff that I enjoy, she hates.

I was playing some GMC for Weather Dave in order to convince him to play some of his funnier tunes on Rock 92’s ‘Weather Dave & Will Bastard’ show. Jamey Kerr, one of our bosses, walked in and started telling Dave something about the computer. The look on Jamey’s face was unmistakable. It looked as if someone had ran a fresh dog-log under his nose and Jamey turned and asked me, “What in the hell are you listening too?”

That right there was the only thing that I needed to know about playing GMC on Rock 92. It wasn’t going to happen.

I would get requests for his music on the college radio station where I did a show for almost 5 years.

And, if you get the chance to see GMC perform, do so. His performance dates are as rare as seeing a bear ransacking your underwear drawer. So, if you see Snuzz on the bill in Greensboro, there’s a good chance that GMC will perform for the dinner crowd. Get there early.

And if you’re at the Burger King on Battleground Avenue that’s across from the Kashish conveinence store, ask for GMC or Charles and give him a wave. I’m sure that he’d appreciate it.

I received a movie from Netflix today called ‘Dark Water’. I don’t know that much about it except that Jennifer Connelly is in it. Ummmmm…. Jennifer Connelly….

I appears to be a thriller or horror type of movie and I will tell you all about it tomorrow.

Monday, December 26, 2005

'Chicks With Dicks' a mix tape by Chip Kinney

I won a digital camera at my company Christmas party and I was pretty excited about it. I toy with a camera from time to time with my job, but I’ve never had too many cameras in my life. I’ve never been one to walk around with a camera taking photographs.

First of all, I’m lazy about it. I may take them; I just never get them developed. I still have some rolls of film from a NASCAR race in Martinsville from over ten years ago. I have yet to even attempt at getting them developed. The event is still recorded in my mind. I don’t need the pictures as of yet and I don’t even know if the film is still good. It’s been through cold and heat; the film could be totally useless by now.

I remember trying to capture wrecks and spinouts with my camera. Although I’m curious to see if they’ll come out right, the curiosity has yet to win the battle of my laziness. I just don’t care enough to do it. It seems like a big hassle… Filling out forms, chatting with a counter person that probably knows as much about photography as I do, and picking them back up. Not to mention paying for the damn things.

I wrote about my first ever camera (Monday, July 11, 2005
Django Haskins 'OverEasySmokeMachine' in the archives if you want the FULL story) and how I practically embarrassed my mother for life when she had those “artistic” pictures developed on her dime.

Photography has never really been something that I’ve been successful with. I don’t like having my picture taken unless I’m doing something stupid or I’m asked. I move around a camera like Superman waltzes with a rock of Kryptonite.

I have some artistic ideas that I’d like to photograph and here’s my chance to follow those moments of inspiration. The kinds of moments when you’re rolling down the highway of life and see something that speaks to you at that very instant.

I’ve been practicing my photography just by taking pictures. It’s been a week of snapping a few here and there. Capturing little moments that no one else is aware of even though they’re part of those moments.

And I used Christmas afternoon to download all the stuff to use on my PC in order to download those pictures and play around with them. Of course, the limited workings of my brain kicked in and I can’t seem to get anything to do what I want it to do. I can’t even save them to the damn PC. Jeez! It seems simple enough, but I can’t get it.

So, instead of getting a headache cranked up… I gave up and started writing this blog entry.

It looks as if my laziness will take the victory in this battle too.

Before fooling around with my aspirations of becoming the next 50 Cent of photography, I watched a DVD from Netflix.

I got it on Friday and finally decided to watch it Christmas morning. It’s called ‘My Little Eye’ and let me preface it with “it has a ‘Blair Witch’ kind of feel to it”.

Five contestants are chosen to live together in a house that is loaded with cameras. Every thing that they do is out there on the Internet for a price. The contestants can win a million dollars by living together in a house for a month without leaving the fenced in property or calling someone in from the outside. If one leaves, no one wins the “easy” million.

The game masters use deception and psychological warfare on them in order to keep the “game” in their favor. A guy dies of an apparent suicide by hanging… Or is it?

All of the players question each other… “Who, if any, of my opponents is the killer?”

I found the film to be engaging and I highly recommend it. I’m giving it 4 out of 5 stars on the Netflix grading system.

As always… The invitation to be on my Netflix buddy list is always here…

Friday, December 23, 2005

Social Distortion 'Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell'

A couple of months ago, I converted from cash and checks to a check/debit card for several reasons. I like the convenience of never having to go to the bank and withdraw cash. Anywhere Visa is accepted, I’m good to go, baby.

I also got a check card because I didn’t like lying to street hustlers. They have migrated from the stoplight guilt stands near shopping centers into the growing downtown area of Greensboro. They ask for money and when I have it on me, I lie to them. Whether or not they are honestly on hard times, they don’t deserve a lie to their face. So, with my check card, I’m not lying. I rarely carry cash with me now.

I really dig using it everywhere. I use it at fast food places and other restaurants. I use it when I get gas and I never go inside. I use it to pay some bills online and I don’t have to worry about getting it in the mail because I’m pretty lazy about that.

I don’t know what it is about writing a check, stuffing it with a grunt into an envelope, putting a return address label on it, licking and sealing the envelope, and affixing a postage stamp to it… I just don’t like it. I get very lazy about. I’d much rather take the time and gasoline to deliver the bills in person. I do that with my insurance payments.

When I write out checks to mail them out, anything can distract me. It may be an old song on VH1 Classic or something off of a CD that I’m listening to as I type this (which is the title of this blog entry). I may have it on TV Land and get distracted by Eddie Haskell. I may just forget all about the bills when I get a red envelope from Netflix.

The check card makes it easier and timely to keep up with all my bills. I love paying things online because it instantly feels like it’s off my back. I don’t get that kind of satisfaction by mailing out a check because I have to wait to see it on my statement. Then I can rest easy.

Maybe I’m weird?

My bank statement arrived in the mail today and I balanced my checkbook for probably the sixth time of my life. And for the first time in my existence, I got all of the figures to match!

That’s why I have only balanced my checkbook six times, because it never works for me. I’ve always let an extra twenty float around in the money pool and forget about it. I’d occasionally compare my checkbook with my withdraw statement. And if I needed to float another twenty to play it safe, I did. Forgetting about a twenty was a lot better than bouncing checks in my mind.

When the bank’s figures matched my own… I wanted to grab a woman and swing her around in celebration. I wanted a ticker-tape parade. I wanted a phone call from the President. I wanted to be showered with ice cold Gatorade. I wanted to climb the chain link fence to the flag stand, grab the checkered flag, and wave it to the crowd gathered to celebrate my accomplishment.

None of that happened. I drank water and managed to keep it from spilling out of my mouth.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Snuzz 'harper'

All right!

I saw ‘King Kong’ over at The Grande Movie Theater last night. And you know… I didn’t really want to like it. Yeah! I’ll admit it. I didn’t want to like it because Peter Jackson directed it. This is strictly my opinion, but the guy has made a history of crap.

The latest remake of ‘King Kong’ was great! It wasn’t awesome, but great. Jack Black was perfectly cast and frankly, I didn’t have a problem with anyone else in the film. They updated the story just a little bit and that part is a little better than the previous two films. The special effects were fantastic and even when Kong was fighting off the fighter jets from atop the Empire State Building; I got a couple of sensations of vertigo.

Yeah, I have a slight fear of heights.

That just goes to show you how good the special effects and computer graphics are in this film. If it’s making me clutch my hand rests and giving me the uneasy feeling of being WAY too high in the sky… EXCELLENT!

The filmmakers didn’t stray too far away from the original. They did add the part about the giant spiders and insects going after the men that fell from the Kong log roll.

In the original, members of the audience were leaving the screenings because that part was a little too much for them. This new 2005 version has put it back in because we all pretty desensitized bastards by now. But, I must admit, when the worms came out of the muck and started to peel away their “foreskins” and eat the men with their toothy penis like bodies, that was too much. They could have done without that part.

When Kong got Ann Darrow after his rampage leaving the Broadway theatre, they went for a romantic ice skating trip in Central Park. I also felt that was unnecessary too.

They could easily shaved off 20 minutes or so from the movie, but again, Peter Jackson can’t make anything 2 hours or under.

‘King Kong’ gets 4 out of 5 stars from me. I enjoyed the ride and I liked it very much.

I watched ‘The Brothers Grimm’ from Netflix today and I was totally unimpressed by it. I was getting bored and looked at how much time had ticked off the DVD and it was only 19 minutes. Jeez!

I almost stopped it to put it back into its envelope and return back to Netflix. But, I didn’t. I thought that maybe it would pick up and I was wrong.

When it came out, Marcia Gan and myself considered seeing it in the theaters. But our schedules just didn’t allow us to see it so I waited for its release on DVD. And I am SO glad that I didn’t spend money on that piece of excrement.

The special effects and stuff like that were cool, but the story just didn’t grab me.

The Grimm brothers were kind of like ghost busters in the late 1700’s. They went town-to-town exorcising witches and other “spiritual” demons from the villagers for sums of money. They were total con men that staged the exorcisms and eventually the French government caught up with them.

The French were weirded out by what seemed to them to be a hoax much like the ones the Grimm brothers were responsible for. The brothers were allowed to dispel these happenings in exchange for their lives. And when they got there, they found out the mysterious happenings were for real.

I found the movie to be very boring. Rent it if you like, but you have been warned.

One other thing that I would like to note here… Bus Stop is doing another reunion show on Christmas night at the Blind Tiger. This is a band NOT to be missed! They had a reunion show last Thanksgiving and just about everyone in this town showed up. I’ll be there as soon as I’m off the air that night.

And don’t forget the New Year’s Eve shindig at Ziggy’s. Mood Cultivation Project is doing it up right again this year and I’ll be the host for the evening.

This year, I plan not to drink as much so that I won’t get up on the stage with them and sing. They’re such groovy guys, they didn’t really mind. As a matter of fact, they were nothing but smiles both times I jumped up to sing backup.

If they do another cover of Blue Oyster Cult’s “Godzilla” and I’ve had too much to drink, I promise to get the chorus right this year.

I’ll be looking for you at the Blind Tiger on Christmas night and at Ziggy’s on New Year’s Eve.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Metallica '...And Justice For All'

I tried to get an update written last Thursday, but my computer wigged out on me and wouldn’t open the Word Program. My mustard seed brain couldn’t even figure out how to shut the damn thing off to reboot.

Did I use “reboot” properly?

I’m really not all that computer savvy even though I use them constantly throughout the day. I’m not even sure that I want to be all that savvy with them. My friend Jonathan Everett works as a computer technician and he hates them with almost a purple passion. And then there’s Jamey Kerr and Neil Matson who work here at Dick Broadcasting… They say things when working on those machines that I wouldn’t even repeat in front of my dead grandmother.

I tend to give up and cut the power when it won’t shutdown properly and then start it up again. Then the computer gives me crap about NOT shutting it down properly. That’s when I want to introduce it to one of the oldest weapons known to man, a big rock. Sometimes, I would like to go further back than medieval on its ass. I really want to go Neanderthal on that electronic brain’s hindquarters when its not acting the way I think it ought to.

Last time, I mentioned that I was going to tell you about the movie ‘The Island’ that I got from Netflix. It was interesting enough and it threw me for a loop because I don’t read the descriptions before watching. I just put them in and press play, baby. You see… I’m dangerous.

At first, I thought that a nuclear holocaust took place and there were only a handful of people left on earth. They live in an Orwellian type of place where Big Brother is even paying attention to the sodium in their urine. They have to watch their step and they really can’t fraternize with the opposite sex. The “police” keep them updated on their proximity and if they’re too close to each other, they must put some artificial sunshine between them.

Every day, there’s a lottery for the citizens of this place. The winner will be allowed to live the rest of their lives on an island that is heaven on earth. The island is the only place where they can run naked and frolic in the sunshine. It’s the last livable place on the planet after all of the junk that happened that isn’t explained to us, the viewers.

Well, it turned out that the place is like a giant chicken coop where cloned people reside and when it’s time, they win the lottery. Only, they don’t get to go to the island, nope… The clone’s body parts are harvested for the person that they’re cloned from. A giant corporation has dug themselves deep in the desert ground where they can keep the clones and take care of them. The corporation even calls them “product”. They are a business that caters to big time money clients and the government subsidizes them. They even have the President’s clone living there.

It’s an interesting film and makes some interesting points on cloning. I gave it 3 out of 5 stars on the Netflix grading system even though as I write about it, I start to like it even more. I may just revisit Netflix and give it 4 out of 5 now.

The other titles that I watched over the weekend were ‘I (heart) Huckabees’ and ‘The Village’.

I used (heart) because I can’t put a heart symbol for love there. It’s because I’m not very computer savvy. But anyway… I really LOVED that movie. I gave it a full 5 out of 5 on Netflix.

Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, and Marky Mark are in it. Hoffman and Tomlin play married couples that are existential detectives. They help you figure out some of the meanings of things that happen in your life. It’s really weird and some people just don’t get or even want to get it. Judging from the subscriber feedback on Netflix, a lot of folks “don’t get” the film.

I found it engaging and quite funny at times.

I think ‘The Village’ has been around for a couple of years and I have managed to keep from finding out the “secret” at the end of the film.

It’s about a tiny group of settlers who have put up a border to keep out “those of which they do not speak of”. Those creatures come out from time to time to scare the living daylights out of the citizens of the village. There are stories about how some of the villagers have ventured out and never returned. Occasionally, they offer up sacrifices to the “others”. ‘The Village’ moves slowly along without really keeping you interested in what’s going on.

Now, I could tell you the secret, but I won’t. It’s an okay film and not bad if like them slow. I gave it 3 out of 5 stars on the Netflix grading system.

I also finished season 1 of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’. I wasn’t really that impressed with disc 1 or disc 2, but I managed to stick it out. The show is getting better for me and I’m going to keep on with the remaining six seasons.

How about them Redskins yesterday? Huh?

I walked into the Bo Jangles on Battleground this morning and I heard a woman say, “I knew that I would have to see someone wearing the Redskins today.”

“Yep! It was an ugly day for Cowboys fans.”

I enjoyed every minute of the game yesterday and it’s been a very long time since the ‘Skins swept the Dallas Cowboys in a season. Could the Redskins get to the playoffs?

We shall see.

A friend and me hit a new place to eat Saturday on New Garden Road. It’s the Phoenix Asian Cuisine place where they have a full bar. She goes there all the time and suggested the Beef and Broccoli because I’m not into the full on vegetable scene. It was damn-tastic! The broccoli was crisp and fresh even after stewing around with the beef that was lean and tasty.

Ummm-Hmmmm! I’ll be going back soon.

Well, that’s pretty much all from me today. I won’t be updating tomorrow but on Wednesday, I will tell you about the new ‘King Kong’ movie that’s currently in theaters. I also have to help my father change out a power outlet that has gone wacky in my bedroom. I would do it myself, but I’d be dead in only a few short minutes and the northwest side of Greensboro would be out of power for a few hours.

And since I like breathing and living topside, I will let my father take care of that business while I watch him do that voodoo that he do so well. I’m pretty useless whenever it comes to “handy” stuff.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Nirvana ‘Incesticide’

I’ve just finished my workout and here I sit listening to Nirvana with nothing really to write. But again, we’ll try out the exercise about writing whatever comes to mind.

‘King Kong’ opens today at theaters across the country. Are you excited about this?

My personal feelings go both ways. Yes, I want to see it because I love the original and the 1976 remake wasn’t so bad either.

On the other hand, this remake has Peter Jackson as it’s director and I’m just not thrilled about that.

Please keep in mind that this is my own personal opinion… Jackson is a fine director but I’m not really a fan of anything that he’s done. Lets take the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy for an example, or as I call it, three DVDs made for the perfect nap.

I reluctantly agreed to accompany Sean Whitley and his family to see the first one at the second run theater that used to be at the Quaker Village Shopping Center. The theater was packed with folks sporting various characters from the ‘Star Wars’ pictures on their T-shirts. Perhaps my mind is cloudy after the workout, but I recall a woman dressed up as a Starship Captain from ‘Star Trek’ in the crowd too.

Within the first 20 minutes of the film, I was getting extremely bored and contemplated sleeping, but I stuck it out a little longer. The movie didn’t pick-up any steam for me. There were all these magical creatures and other things relating to geek-dom and my eyes grew too heavy for me to hold them open any longer.

I woke up and considered leaving the theater. I have NEVER walked out and left a movie in my life, but this ‘Lord of the Rings’ crap was too much for me. I was seated third from the right on my row with about a dozen more seats on my left. I couldn’t go left and I couldn’t go right. Why? Because Sean and his wife were seated on my right and they’re both bigger than me and I’m a big guy. It would cause a big ruckus and distraction for all the geeks around us if I left. So, I toughed it out and sat, watched, and slept through the rest of the movie.

I kept looking at my watch and begged deep from within myself for the flick to end. I suffered in silence until the credits started rolling.

Do you remember those Skittles commercials where magical beings are traipsing around while they’re being rained upon by sugarcoated candies? That’s what ‘Lord of the Rings’ was like for me, a three-hour Skittles commercial.

That’s what I’m afraid of with this new ‘King Kong’ remake. I’m terrified that it’s going to be boring and I just heard from Mark Burger (Winston-Salem Journal movie reviewer) that it runs over 3 hours.

Can’t this Peter Jackson geek make anything 2 hours or less? Jesus Chrysler Dodge!

I don’t know if I can get it watched before going to work, but I have ‘The Island’ sitting on my entertainment center waiting for me. I just got it today from Netflix.

I’ll tell you all about later.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Various Artists 'Movin' On Up'

I was telling you yesterday about how much I liked ‘The Dukes Of Hazzard’ movie, but I had a few problems with it. Lets start with numero uno please…

Daisy Duke: Why is Jessica Simpson in that role?

Sure, Jessica is pretty, well endowed, and known by the general public, but she’s no Daisy Duke. I can let the blonde hair slide because that’s not really important to the character. Daisy Duke was a wholesome girl who dressed like a country cocktail waitress from a low-rent Hooter’s who looks like she doesn’t skimp on desserts.

Look at Catherine Bach from back in the day… That Daisy had thick sexy legs and a generously rounded ass. She filled out the bikini with a little spilling out over the sides. Jessica has spindly little stick legs and to me, that’s just not sexy.

Willie Nelson played Uncle Jesse and for the most part, I don’t have a problem with him in the role. I had a BIG problem with the new Uncle Jesse cracking lame jokes all the time. Why? Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?

I don’t know who the dude was in the role of Roscoe P. Coletrain, but again, the writers got it wrong. James Best gave a Barney Fife/Gilligan type of feel to the character of Sheriff Roscoe. There’s no denying how well James Best was in that role. The new Sheriff wasn’t too much of a bumbling idiot and I didn’t like that. He was merely a stooge for Boss Hogg.

And Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg???

Two things wrong with that… For one thing, he’s too tall. And second, he’s just not fat or stupid enough. The old Boss Hogg cowered and ran. To me, the new Hogg has no charm.

Now lets move on to the good things about the new Dukes…

In the series, Bo was always getting the girls and I liked the turnabout with Luke getting more than his fair share of woman action. The writers managed to make that better and funny.

In the movie, Bo is in love with his car because he knows what to do and say around them. Where as with girls, he loses his power of speech and thought.

Cletus, Ennis, and Cooter are all fine and dandy with me because in the film version, they are minor characters.

The biggest plus for me from the movie are the driving scenes. The stunts and action sequences are big, bad, and awesome! I liked the homage to the movie ‘Bullit’ where the General Lee raced against the same black model of Mustang from that famous film. The jumps and the boys evading police capture were exciting and I couldn’t take my eyes off the television screen because those scenes were done so well. And I giggled from time to time too.

And it was cool to see NASCAR driver Stanton Barrett as one of the stunt drivers in ‘The Dukes Of Hazzard’.

So, if you plan on seeing the new Dukes movie, just let your brain have a rest and enjoy the ride. Sometimes it’s cool to see a movie that just wants to drive you quickly to a good time.

For the record, I gave ‘The Dukes Of Hazzard’ four out of five stars on the Netflix grading system.

I finally got my ‘Green Acres’ season three in the mail yesterday. Still, I’m not all that pleased with Amazon. I ordered it through them because no one ever seems to have ‘Green Acres’ on DVD in this town. I had to hit three stores last spring to find season two.

I knew Amazon carried them and so I pre-ordered it with regular shipping. I could wait a few more days. On Monday, December 5th, I received confirmation from Amazon that it was being shipped out that day and should arrive at my house on Thursday, December 8th. It didn’t show up on Thursday and that was okay. It should arrive on Friday. It didn’t.

I thought for sure that I’d see it on Saturday and sit back late that night and watch me some ‘Green Acres’. Guess what? It didn’t come and I was starting to get a little hotheaded about it. I was bitchin’ and complaining to anyone that would listen or not listen. I felt betrayed and lied to by Amazon.

The DVD collection finally got here yesterday (Monday December 12th) and I only had time to watch two episodes before I had to go to work. Damn!

My nephew and I watched a bunch of them today. He was particularly fond of Arnold Ziffle (the pig) going to Hollywood to make a movie. Those are classic episodes.

That was my first order with Amazon and I’m not exactly pleased, but I should keep in mind that the slow shipping may not be their fault. After all, it’s the Holiday Season and there are tons and tons of extra things being shipped around the country so, I’ll give them another chance.

I’m planning on ordering the films ‘Vanishing Point’ and ‘The Phantom Of The Paradise’ on DVD from them real soon. Those are two titles that I can’t seem to find anywhere either. Hell, I had to purchase a VHS copy of ‘Vanishing Point’ from a seller on eBay a few years ago.

Another thing that I did yesterday was go to a photo session for the Rock 92 website that is being overhauled. I’m not very pleased about it because I don’t take good photos. I try to stay away from cameras when pictures are being taken. I’m just not the prettiest guy that you would ever want to meet and radio is meant for chaps like me. So, who knows what it will turn out like. Besides, I like with the current mug shot of professional wrestler Ric Flair used instead of my likeness.

We shall see what it all looks like when it’s done.

I’m crossing my fingers.

Monday, December 12, 2005

James Blunt 'Back To Bedlam'

The busy week is over and I can now concentrate on getting back to my slacker-like ways.

Last Thursday, I had two different remotes. The first one was a Grand Opening of Sheetz in Mebane. I have never gotten gasoline at Sheetz, but I do know that the food is excellent and the coffee is even better. Mmmmm… An extra vanilla latte with whipped cream… Damn, that’s good!

I’m very impressed with their pump your gas and order your food concept. One of these days I’m going to have to try it. I don’t have a Sheetz near me and I tend to purchase fuel near my home. One day… ONE DAY… Fuel and food in one stop at the pump and there will be no stopping me.

For now, my dreams will suffice.

It was cold that day at Sheetz, but I was prepared and layered appropriately. Then I helped Knock Out (Katie in promotions) at the Portrait Homes / Yes Weekly remote that night. Everyone else was dressed casual business and I’m walking around like a warmly wrapped rodeo clown. I was wearing my white camouflage pants with a burgundy T-shirt. And if that weren’t enough, I brought my brightly colored Washington Redskins coat along. Needless to say, I felt a little out of place and no one seemed to care.

Friday night, I got together with Kim Thore ( to say our “so longs”. Kim has moved to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida to be amongst the snowbirds and pursue other job interests.

I met her and some of her Greensboro co-workers at Steak Street in High Point. That was the first time that I had eaten there and the cheeseburgers are delicious. That night was also the first time that I put my Beam and Coke plan in action.

If you missed it the first time, here it is: When the high temperature is 50 or below for the day, instead of beer, it’s Jim Beam Bourbon and Coca-Cola.

I have the same rule for coffee. I like coffee and I could like it too much, but I don’t want to end up like my grandparents. They can drink coffee on the front porch in the middle of an August heat wave. And if I’m not mistaken, they drink coffee right up until bedtime.

I will miss Kim and she says that she’ll be back in the spring. We shall see.

On Saturday, I worked the remote at the Piedmont New Car show at the Showplace in High Point. Two Guys Named Chris and Deidre were there to sign the new Junior Cardboard Box Set collection. There was a tremendous turnout and I got to meet 2 time NASCAR Nextel Champion, Terry Labonte. That was REALLY cool and I’m taller than he is. Just about every racecar driver that I’ve ever met, I’m taller than they are. They're really not that much different from horse jockeys.

Then I hit Jimmy’s Pizza in downtown High Point to pick up one of their FANTASTIC pizzas and visit with my friend Jeff Baker.

Bake and I have known each other since we both attended Northwest Guilford Junior and Senior Highs. I don’t get to see him as much as I’d like to but I know that if I ever need anything, Jeff will be there and I’d do the same for him.

And for some reason, Baker has started jumping out of airplanes for fun. I personally don’t get it because I would only jump out to avoid dying in a crash.

If you’re down in High Point on Main Street, drop by Jimmy’s Pizza, get something to eat, and say “hello” to Jeff Baker.

When I got the time over the weekend, I watched a few discs from Netflix. Preston and I watched ‘Fantastic Four’ and from the reviews and word of mouth over the summer, I was under the impression that it wasn’t very good. We both liked it and I gave it four out of five stars on the Netflix grading system.

I also got two of the three discs that make up season one of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’. The show really isn’t knocking me over as one of the greats, but my friend Christine says that I need to seem them for character development and plot histories for the future episodes.

I tried to catch all the Buffy’s when FX started showing them, but since I didn’t catch them in order, I felt completely lost and gave up.

A few years ago, I briefly went out with a girl who LOVED ‘Buffy’ and ‘Angel’. She showed me a couple of ‘Angel’ episodes and I had no idea what was going on. And, to be quite honest, I didn’t like the ‘Angel’ series. It seemed like a weak siphoning of ‘Buffy’ and the only reason that it lasted so long (my opinion) was because of the man-candy actor in the title role of Angel. I saw a handful of episodes and I didn’t like any of them. But, who knows, I may just dig them once I see ‘Buffy’ in its entirety.

The invitation to be Netflix buddies is always on the table…

I have finally figured out how to give Preston his own queue. That way, if I have to keep his picks a little longer, then it won’t logjam my picks.

I’ve put the first season of ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ on his list. What’s not to love in that show for a kid his age?

He’ll love the General Lee flying through the sky and spinning around Hazzard County at breakneck speeds. He’ll like the comedy between Boss Hogg and Sheriff Roscoe P. Coletrain. AND… He’ll LOVE Daisy Duke!

Did I tell you that I liked the new ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ movie?

I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow because there are so many things that I didn’t really care for in the remake.

Until then… Eat at Jimmy’s Pizza and drink coffee at Sheetz!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Beatles 'Live At The BBC'

I'm real sorry folks, but I don't really have an update for you today. I haven't had the time to sit down at my PC today to write one. And to be quite honest, I don't know when I'll be able to make an update.

For some reason, everything has been hitting the fan today, tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday.

And, to top it all off... I'll have 5 DVDs from Netflix sitting on my entertainment center laughing at my busy ass. Quick turnaround is how you get your money's worth with Netflix and it ain't happening this week. Damn.

I'll be watching the 'Dukes Of Hazzard' movie whenever I get home and I'll let you know my thoughts on it. I'm not expecting much, but I did want to see it.

Keep checking back and I'll update when I can. If not, Monday's update will be a doozy!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

'Midnight Cowboy' Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

The cold and flu season is up and running at my house. Germs used my niece and nephew like cute little Trojan horses to infiltrate my abode. Chloe, my niece, her nose has been running like nerds after William Shatner’s autograph. And when I saw Preston this afternoon, he looked as if he didn’t feel good.

It’s in my house and it’s only a matter of time before I’M feeling poorly. Jeesh!

I moved in another stereo system into the Lab (workout building behind my house) this afternoon. It’s a more updated model that’s capable of playing CD’s, CD-R’s, and CD-RW’s. It also has a remote so when I’m on my stationary bike, I can turn it up whenever I need to.

When I lifted the Sony “boom box” out of its place to move in the replacement, I noticed sounds coming from inside. I shook it and it sounded like spare change rattling around in there. I took off the battery hatch, door, or whatever those things are called and went to shaking out the contents. A dime fell out, but more was in there and I’m committed to find out even if I have to smash the thing open.

She has served me well for at least 15 years and I’m pretty sure that she could have went longer if there were no nieces and nephews around. Because I am very certain that I had nothing to do with the spare change and other foreign objects rattling around inside my boom box. I’m also fascinated to see what the other things are that have made their way into my electronic equipment.

I will place Preston into a very warm room and question him with a reading lamp pointed at his small, round face. If he claims innocence or ignorance, I’m sure the contents of my former boom box laid out before him will cause him to sweat because he won’t be able to escape the pointed finger. After that, he will confess and receive his punishment. A talking to and my knuckles rubbed on the top of his head.

I’m sure the boom box is loaded with other things that I can’t hear rattling around inside. Raisins, boogers, and whatever other creative things kids shove into small places. Hell, there’s probably a half eaten sandwich in there.

I finally got to watch a movie that I’ve wanted to see for a long time. It’s ‘Super Size Me’ and I found it very interesting on so many levels. I laughed my ass off when that guy ate his first Double-Quarter Pounder and threw it back up before he even finished his Coke. What a wimp!

I also found it interesting that he became depressed as he ate a month’s worth of junk food. But, he didn’t even talk about how the use of anti-depressants has skyrocketed along with American waistlines. Is there a connection? I think so.

As a junk food kind of guy that I am, why am I not feeling depressed all the time? I’m not on any anti-depressants and I don’t suffer from mood swings. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty much laid back all the time even without my junk food.

Over a decade ago, I actually went a month without eating meat. It was the gassiest month of my life and I just wanted to see if I could do it. I learned during that time that I LOVE meat. My eyes both face forward which according to scientists, means that I’m a predator. Both eyes focus on the prey when hunting, you see. I cannot deny my love and need for meat. I love the flesh of my fellow vertebrates.

That month was the toughest month in my life when it came to eating. There aren’t many vegetables that I like and meals consisted of a lot of the same things. The month became very bland for my taste buds and my beer consumption went through the roof.

When I got off my meat-free month, I went to McDonald’s and picked up a Double-Quarter Pounder with cheese and ketchup only to celebrate. An hour hadn’t passed by before I was feeling sick, but I kept ‘er down. Oh yeah! I kept ‘er down, baby!

Here lately, I’ve been eating a lot at Arby’s because we finally have one on the northwest side of town where I live. I love me some Arby’s!

Now, if I can only get a Long John Silver’s in Greensboro, I will be the happiest that I’ve ever been in my life.

Monday, December 05, 2005

'17 Old Tyme Pagan Spirituals' a mix tape by Chip Kinney

Over the weekend, I helped our old Rock 92 friend Hinzy move into his new digs. Rock 92’s Joe Davis and Marcia Gan helped out.

Marcia said something that I had never thought about before. She said, “Brad, when you move, you’d better be prepared to open yourself up. By moving your stuff, people truly get to see who you really are.”

And she was right about the winter like weather in the form of sleet that we received just as we had finished up. Earlier that day, I pointed out that the clouds looked like snow and I guess that I wasn’t too far off the mark either.

As for the rest of the weekend, it was rather uneventful. I watched three of discs that I had received from Netflix. My newest Netflix buddy, Kristina, suggested two of them.

‘Dead Man’ is a Johnny Depp film and while watching it, I found myself remembering parts of it. I kept stumbling on the flick whenever my remote stopped on the Independent Film Channel years ago. It’s always been on my list of flicks to see, but those little post-it note reminders in my head kept slipping off the slimy insides of my mind and fell into a crack or something.

Kristina was right about one thing; you shouldn’t watch this flick unless you’re fully awake. It does tend to move a little slow, but it’s one of those films that you just let soak in like Palmolive.

I really liked ‘Dead Man’ and I gave it four stars on the Netflix grading scale.

Next up, ‘Wonderland’ starring Val Kilmer as legendary adult film star, John Holmes.

The film is all about drug deals gone wrong because of the characters and egos involved that led to a brutal slaying on Wonderland Avenue in Hollywood. Holmes was charged with his involvement and acquitted as well as Hollywood club owner, Eddie Nash.

Holmes was an oily weasel that played everyone that he came into contact with. Drugs turned this low self-esteem porn star into a liar and a thief. How can a man with 14 inches under the hood have self-esteem issues? That’s a great mystery to me.

Holmes didn’t like showing it off. Hell, I’d be breaking that joker out anytime someone wanted to see it. I’d figure out how to put ink pen refills into it so that I could use my gargantuan wanker to sign autographs.

How’s that for a visual?

In the film, we learn from Holmes’ wife Sharon that he was involved because he showed up at her house the morning of the murders covered in blood. He took a bath, confessed, and recanted quickly as if he was just speaking mindless “junkie”. She kept that secret until he died six years later from AIDS complications in 1988.

‘Wonderland’ is a great anti-drug film. It just goes to show you that no matter how big of a stick that you carry, you can be dragged down by the animals in the jungle. I gave ‘Wonderland’ five stars. And there’s even crime scene footage from the LAPD. It’s a little gruesome, but cool.

Kristina also suggested ‘The Boondock Saints’, another fine, fine suggestion that I gave a full five stars to.

It’s about a couple of Irish brothers taking on the role of judge, jury, and executioners to all ne’er-do-wells.

I also think that this flick is my favorite Willem Dafoe movie. I want to tell you about a scene, but I can’t because the full effect will be lost when you see it. Just check it out if you want to know what I’m talking about. It’s a very, very fun movie.

Kristina works for Portrait Homes, and with ‘Yes Weekly’ magazine and 1075KZL (our sister station), they are putting on another fantastic get-together at Much in downtown Greensboro this Thursday evening. So, if you’re in the market for a new home, come see Kristina and challenge her on movies. She’ll kick your butt on the independent flicks I can assure you.

The invitation to join my Netflix buddy list is always here…

Since I’ve been working out, I’ve managed to kill a treadmill and a stationary bike. Today while working out, my Sony “boom box” let me know that it’s giving up the ghost. The CD player quit working properly almost a year ago and now the cassette tape player has blown its wad. As of right now, the radio is still operational.

Can you still purchase boom boxes with tape decks?

I still have thousands of cassette tapes that I listen to on a regular rotation. They are mostly mix tapes by friends and myself. Also, tapes of most of my college radio shows from WQFS.

The tape player bit the dust on Judas Priest’s ‘Night Crawler’ from Chip Kinney’s mix tape that I’m listening to today. The title of the mix tape is also the title of today’s blog entry. The tape proved worthy as excellent workout music.

Maybe I should just bite the bullet and purchase an I-Pod.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Joe Walsh 'The Confessor'

By the way... Preston enjoyed today's musical selection by Joe Walsh as we made our rounds.

Against my better judgment, I took Preston to Toys ‘R Us this afternoon. He wasn’t as overwhelmed as I had hoped for and he definitely didn’t want any Bratz dolls. This was his first visit to a TRU in his five years of existence and I thought that he would flip is lid about all the wondrous toys to be found within the confines of Geoffrey the Giraffe’s domain.

To be perfectly honest, his lack of enthusiasm impressed me because he didn’t go off running around in the store like most of the other kids do. There were kids running around holding this and that and shouting, “I want this! I need this!” There were kids climbing the shelves and jumping into pools of toys like cliff-divers from the Fuji Islands. It was amazing!

The parents were shouting at their kids to get down, but they weren’t listening. I was like the guy in the back of the crowd gathered before a suicide jumper on a tall building shouting for the kids to jump.

Ahhhh… The Christmas Season is a beautiful time of the year.

We started off with a hearty meal from McDonald’s. Again, Preston doesn’t eat anything unless it’s in nugget form. I ordered the Quarter Pounder meal and lo and behold, it arrived as a Double-Quarter Pounder meal! The angels of fast food were smiling upon me today. Of course, it’s a different story for the angels watching over my arteries. I guess it was lunchtime for them too.

Preston received a Toys ‘R Us gift card for ten bucks on his birthday last week and we searched for something in his price range. And wouldn’t you know it, everything that he wanted started at $19.99. But for everything that fit in his range, I brought along a pad and pen to make notes so that he could decide once he gave the store the “once over”.

I made only one note and he kept coming back to the same thing, a Black Hawk Helicopter with army guys and other things associated with the army. It was $19.99 so I decided to kick in some dough to make that baby his. It was better than the metal sword that he wanted because the kid is crafty enough to learn how to sharpen that thing.

Preston has a deep love for weapons like knives, guns, swords, and nunchuks. Why? I do not know, but I’m pleased about it.

Then we dropped by where my friend Christine works because we have worked out a magnificent deal with our Netflix discs.

I’ve mentioned that she let me borrow ‘Kingdom of Heaven’, well… Since I had ‘War of the Worlds’, I brought it to her and swapped it for ‘Mr. And Mrs. Smith’. We’ll watch them and stick them in the mail tomorrow so that they arrive on Monday. I’m practically giggling about it right now. Neither one of us have to wait to see those movies. It’s pure genius and I don’t know why we didn’t think of it sooner.

As for ‘War of the Worlds’, I’m giving it four stars on Netflix. That means that I really liked it. Dakota Fanning’s character was really starting to get on my nerves, but the girl is one helluva an actress. I could expand on why her character got on my nerves, but that would take us WAY off the path here.

There is only one thing that I hated about the film and I don’t want to give away the ending, so I can’t tell you. But, if this movie were made in Europe, the ending would be a bit darker.

If you’ve seen the movie and want me to explain my point to you, drop me an email.

Here’s the invitation to my Netflix buddy list.

The effects in ‘War of the Worlds’ were cool and that made up for the lame plot of the kids visiting Daddy for the weekend. When the aliens made the attacks, it was Daddy’s job to keep them safe and return them to Mommy. The characters were all one-dimensional but I didn’t care because the flick is a fun ride.

And hats off to Tim Robbins! He played one helluva crazy guy and I didn’t even know he was in the movie. That was a nice surprise.

I looked for toys for ‘War of the Worlds’ at TRU, but I didn’t see any because Preston wouldn’t allow ME to look around. He wanted that copter and he wanted home.

And after leaving Christine’s place of business, we drove around Battleground Park. We stopped to take a look at the statue of General Greene and Preston said, “Unka Gene, he was big!”

He wanted to know what all the words were on the statue’s base and he made me read them to him. Even before I finished the first sentence, I believe he was sorry that he asked. I also explained that Greensboro got its name from Nathaniel Greene and how the lost battle at the Guilford Courthouse ultimately won the Revolutionary war for the colonist against Great Britain.

He thought the cannons were cool and he wanted to fire them. Crazy kid.

Maybe I’ll take him to the re-enactment battle in March next year. With all those weapons and death, I think that Preston would dig that.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Mago de Oz 'La Leyenda de La Mancha'

Yes, it has been a long time since my last update and please accept my apologies. Now that my week has become a little less hectic, I am finally able to sit down at my computer and type this bad boy up. So, here goes…

Thanksgiving was rather uneventful. There were no killings or even a fight when my family got together. It’s not like fighting or murder is likely to take place, but one can hope. Thanksgiving is more or less about getting together to eat and watch some football in our family. I ate, but I didn’t watch any football. If the Redskins aren’t playing, then my interests lead me to watch the latest things to arrive in my mailbox from Netflix.

Hell, I can’t even remember what I watched. I now know that I should have made some notes. Oh well, what is done is done. Here are the ones that I do remember…

‘Meet the Fockers’ was a COMPLETE waste of time. The only redeeming value was Blythe Danner. I don’t know how old she is, but damn… The woman is hot!

Whenever I put a disc in the player, I immediately go to the special features to see if there’s something to activate before I watch the movie. On ‘Fockers’, they had a feature where the cuts were made; you could interrupt the flow and put them back in. The DVD would let you know that one was coming up whenever you saw a blue silhouette of a dog in the bottom left corner of your television screen. I couldn’t understand why they were using a blue dog until the Focker’s dog ended up in an RV toilet. And after the second time seeing the added scenes, I knew that the feature was a real waste of time because the movie sucked eggs.

I’m sure that if I were in some sort of vegetative state, I would have enjoyed this flick. Even the blooper reel sucked. What’s up with Dinero and Hoffman? Do they really need the money that bad to make such crap?

Yeah, I can forgive Ben Stiller because he’s become quite adept at making crap. He hasn’t really done anything of merit since ‘Permanent Midnight’ and ‘The Ben Stiller Show’ that ran on FOX some years ago.

I met my buddy Christine for drinks at the Brassfield Ham’s last Saturday night. I was feeling a little hungry and I chose another fowl to eat since I had become bored with turkey. I got the Atomic Hot wings and a pitcher of Yuengling. I was enjoying the wings and I couldn’t understand why they were called “Atomic Hot” because I was feeling no heat whatsoever. Christine ate one and said, “Eugene. Those wings are hot.”

Has my mouth become desensitized by all of the hot sauce that I consume on a regular basis?

That must be the same reason why a pitcher of beer barely gave me a buzz. Hmmmm…

Christine dropped one of her Netflix discs on me to watch if I promised to put it in the mail on Monday. It was ‘Kingdom of Heaven’ starring Orlando Bloom with Liam Neeson.

Christine loved it, but me, it was so-so. Sure, the action scenes were cool and the special effects in the fight scenes were bitchin’, but the movie lacked something that I haven’t put my finger on yet. Even as I write this, I still don’t know why I didn’t really care for the film.

Right now, I’m enjoying HBO’s ‘From The Earth To The Moon’ series. While watching it, I can’t help but think how primitive automobiles, communications, and other technologies were back then. But yet they managed to send animals and humans into space and bring them back safely. People were using rotatory dial phones and some cases, still using party lines to communicate. Yet we were talking to astronauts high above the Earth.

Take a look at a classic car sometime and notice how much of a deathtrap those things were when they rolled off the factory line back in the 60’s, and somehow, we managed to send people into orbit around the Earth and Moon? It completely blows my mind.

As for the moon landing, I’m still not convinced that we actually did it. There are WAY too many things that point out fabrication in those events. Yeah… I’m one of those kooky conspiracy nuts.

After all, the U.S. was in a space race with Russia and we had to get our red, white, and blue penis into the heavens and deposit little white men on the moon before those godless heathens did. At least, that was the spin from everyone supporting the space race. We had to get our feet onto the moon’s surface before some communist did or we’d all be speaking Russian right now.

That too, blows my mind.

So, to me, it’s not too farfetched that the moon landing was a hoax. And as far as I know, no Russian has landed on the moon.

I remember a little about the moon landing back in 1969. I wasn’t even three years old when it happened and when I told my parents some years ago that I remembered it, they scoffed. So I proved to them that I remembered by explaining in great detail where the television, sofa, and chairs were in the living room during that historic broadcast. I recall everyone having his or her eyes glued to the screen for it and I guess my tiny little brain (not much different today) stored it away as something largely significant to be remembered. My parents believed me.

I also have ‘War of the Worlds’ with Tom Cruise waiting to be viewed. I’m a fan of the original and I have an album copy of Orson Welles’ radio broadcast that scared the living fecal matter out of everyone almost a century ago. I hope to be pleasantly surprised by Steven Spielberg’s remake.

The invitation to be my Netflix buddy is always on the table…

My nephew Preston turned five last Saturday. He seemed to get nothing but Fisher-Price Rescue Heroes for his birthday. He loves those things and tomorrow, I’m taking him to his first ever visit to Toys ‘R Us. That should be exciting. I’ll be sure to get him hopped up on sugar before going so that he’ll relieve himself in a playhouse display.

That happens all the time.

I worked part-time at the old Carolina Circle Toys ‘R Us back in the early 90’s to make ends meet and I will have to say that I enjoyed it. I met people back then that I still call friends today. And along with my Peaches Music & Video days, I have noticed that there are bonds still going with people that I worked with in retail.

What is it about working in retail where bonds develop with coworkers that last for years?

I never had any other relationships that have truly lasted outside of the retail environment until now with my job in radio.

I didn’t plan on writing about that. It makes me think.

I’ll let you know about ‘War of the Worlds’ tomorrow when I update again.