Monday, April 24, 2006

KISS ‘Alive’

My father gave me the word last Friday morn… I’m going to be an aunt.

My sister’s sonogram revealed that a small female is growing inside her. And one day she’ll push her little head into the world with minimal bloodshed and tearing. Kevin and Pam are naming her Gracie.

I’m not too thrilled about that name, but it ain’t my kid. I’m just the lowly godfather with no opinion that counts with them.

But!

Since they’re not having a boy, one of my Green Acres names is safe.

Although I’m still on the “sunny side” of 40, I’m still capable of producing offspring. Throughout the years, I have gathered a list of names for my future children and I have based them on my favorite television show, Green Acres. All the names are from characters on that show.

Here’s a list of boy’s names…

Dawson (what Kevin and Pam chose and cannot use)
Ziffle
Newt
Drucker
Oliver
Drobney
Wendell
Douglas
Trendell
Hank
Hoyt (not actually a character/Hoyt Clagwell was the brand of tractor Mr. Douglas had)
Carson

Here is a list of girl’s names…

Haney
Kiley
Lisa
Kimball
Monroe
Molly
Sam (NOT short for Samantha)

I particularly like Haney for a girl’s name and I cannot tell you why. I think maybe I just like the way it sounds and I’ve always liked Mr. Haney because of his selling pitch / comedy routine.

Let me know what you think… Leave your comments.

For years, no one ever thought about Dawson for a name until Dawson’s Creek did a little time on The WB. Once that show started gathering a small following, the name Dawson took off.

Yeah, I was kinda irked by that, but it wasn’t like I could start a family at that particular point in my life. Right now, my baby crates are still in good working order. There’s been a slow down in production, but the lines are ready to crank up at a moment’s notice. Just keep the Union informed.

Since some of you have requested it, here's a picture of me. It's an old one. I'm larger now and my hair is much shorter. The man that I'm pictured with is none other than Stock Car Racing Legend, Dick Trickle.

Photo by Wally Harrison.

21 comments:

  1. Christine8:41 PM

    Ziffle
    Newt
    Drucker
    Drobney
    Wendell
    Trendell
    Hoyt
    Haney
    Kimball
    Monroe
    Sam (NOT short for Samantha)

    A couple of your choices weren't bad. But as for the above, if you were ever to curse a child with any of these names I'd rip off your genitals and beat you to death with them.

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  2. Christine totally beat me to it.

    So if you used some of those names, you'd be double-beaten with ripped-off dead genitals.

    Except, for some odd reason (it could very well be the (bottle) glass of wine I had tonight... I'm kind of drawn to Haney. Haney Sims. Different... but not entirely horrid.

    YOU MAY NOT NAME YOUR OFFSPRING AFTER A FUCKING PIG.

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  3. I have no comment on baby names, I am just here to say "Man that picture is old school!"

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  4. Anonymous7:03 AM

    Am I crazy or does Dick Trickle have male camel toe going on???

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  5. Anonymous9:15 AM

    I can't believe that you don't like the name we have choosen...Gracie. However, I still think you are the best choice for Godfather!! For those that don't know it, Uncle Gene (as Preston and Chloe call him) has a BIG soft spot for children and is amazing with them.

    Kevin and Pamela

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  6. Anonymous9:40 AM

    Gracie as a nickname for Grace is fine. (Although I think it's weird and a little creepy to be picking out cutie-pie nicknames before she even arrives.)

    Gracie as a given name - ick. It's OK when she's 3 and adorable - not so much when she's 30, trying to make a career for herself, and has no "serious" name to fall back on.

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  7. Your future daughter's name will be Molly Turgiss Sims. It is written. By golly, by golly.

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  8. Anonymous11:46 AM

    Ummmm, GRACIE is a serious name and just don't you worry your "pretty" little head about her career. I'm sure like our other daughter she will be NOTHING short of billiant!!!

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  9. Anonymous2:27 PM

    No, Gracie is a nickname, like Pam. And there's a reason why they aren't commonly used as given names; it just screams uneducated redneck parents, "billiant!!!" child or not.

    You can thank your own parents for not being so short-sighted as to do that to you. (Go ahead, ask 'em why they didn't just name you "Pam" if that's what they were going to call you?)

    But hey, it's your kid who'll have to live her entire adult life with a cutie-pie little girl's name. No worries on my part. :)

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  10. Anonymous2:54 PM

    First of all who would be the uneducated person here?? The last time I checked a KID was a baby goat and I surely will NOT be giving birth to a baby goat. You have no idea where the name Gracie came from, as far as to why we picked it..so it might suit you well to just leave it alone. Eugene was writting about HIS choice for baby names in the even that he ever had a child. The name we have choose was not up for debate muchless dicussion. Being the fact that you haven't has the guts to leave your name on any of the postings might lead one to believe that your name isn't anything to write home about.

    Pamela

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  11. Anonymous3:25 PM

    Last time you checked what, Pam? It sure wasn't a dictionary, where 'kid' lists one of its definitions as 'child.' Sorry if that doesn't jibe with the World Book of Pam's Attempts to Be Snarky.

    As for why you picked the name you did, I really couldn't care less - any more than I care why a parent would choose to name their child Billy instead of William, Mandy instead of Amanda, and so forth. I think it's tacky, and screams of uneducated redneck parents, for whatever reason they do it.

    As for my name, it doesn't matter because you don't know me anyway - although I can assure you my parents put a real name on my birth certificate, and not some cutie-pie nickname. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

    Now really, Pam, run along and stop worrying so much about what a complete stranger thinks about your name choice. You're smart enough (I hope) to realize you aren't going to change anyone's opinion here, nor can you control whether or not "debate" or "discussion" over your decision takes place. Not everyone is going to like your choice, and not everyone is going to stay quiet about it if they don't. So put on your big girl panties and deal with it already.

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  12. All right.... That's enough (and I'm guessing) ladies.

    Look... I just mentioned that I didn't like it. The name Gracie has a couple of negative connotations floating around it. Sure, not everyone remembers dimwitted Gracie Allen but we all remember "way to go grace".

    Again Pam... It's your kid and your choice. And as you know, I don't tend to keep my opinions to myself.

    So why don't we all move on.

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  13. Yes Kim... That photo was probably taken around 91 or 92. Old school it is.

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  14. Bebo? I didn't realize that you are so anti-pig anti-ziffle.

    Color me shocked!

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  15. Brad... I've actually thought about Turgis as a boy's name.

    I dismissed Acre for a boy's name a couple of years ago.

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  16. Oh, Eugene. I'm quite pro-pig. I'm rather pro-Ziffle.

    But it would be a grave injustice to a child to be stuck with Ziffle for a first/middle name.

    I would name a dog Ziffle, though. That would be cute.

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  17. Julie "Jules"6:46 PM

    I could not resist reading the comments as the number was high again...I thought it must be interesting.

    What I find really interesting is that someone would take something that is so innocent and actually attack someone's character. I mean really...to call someone an uneducated redneck for naming their child something in your opinion is "cute"?

    Professionally speaking, this just screams - I am a very unhappy person so I have to do this to make myself feel better. Maybe it stems from your kid hood I mean childhood?

    Besides...whats in a name? A rose by any other name is still a rose and smells as sweet. RIGHT?

    I mean...look at the obvious in this entry..."DICK TRICKLE" thats something you get treated for...not a great name choice...yet...he is very wealthy, successful and over age 30!!!

    PAM AND KEVIN - CONGRATULATIONS on the baby girl...a true blessing no matter what her name...and YES I think Eugene (Uncle Gene) will be a great aunt:)

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  18. Heather B.8:42 PM

    Congradulations on little Gracie and becoming an uncle/aunt/godfather again.

    I do have to admit some of the names from Green Acres are good, but as an earlier person pointed out some could cause a child a lifetime of therapy.

    Monroe I would think also as more of a boys name.. Kimball I think would be good for a girl or boy. 'Course these are my opinions and not meant to offend anyone nor do they represent the views of this station.... oh sorry typing the legal jargon from those infomercials...

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  19. Anonymous8:49 PM

    Re-read my original comment about the name, "Jules". It was an impersonal observation. There was no attack, no character slam, just an opinion on the name (which I'm certainly entitled to, right?). But Pam chose to get nasty and personal about it - which she received in return. Gotta hate it when that happens.

    Names give impressions of education, socio-economic status and a host of other qualities. And, like it or not, those impressions aren't always good ones.

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  20. Jules4:22 AM

    Hey, I just think its cool that there are comments on the blogging that Eugene puts his time and effort into.

    I, however, will refrain from making comments during really bad weeks (such as this one)in the future. None of my business anyway. NO WORRIES:)

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  21. Anonymous7:40 AM

    Jules,

    Thank you so much!! We are VERY happy about our little Gracie coming into the world and yes Ungle Gene will make the worlds best godfather. (I just have to figure out how to hide his KISS items, Green Acres and Beverly Hillbillies tapes.) Your comments touched me deeply. Thank you again for taking the time to express what you felt and to wish us well.

    Pamela

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