Wednesday, May 02, 2007

"Pussy's Little Problem" A mix tape by Chip Kinney


I checked the stats on my blog last night around 9pm and I was very surprised to see how many hits I got. For the day, I had nearly doubled the number of visitors to the my little blog.

And there was only one reason why… I dropped the name of Clay Aiken.

Yes… I know it really wasn’t Clay Aiken in the jury pool with me and that was the point of using the quotation marks around his name. Yet there were a couple of Claymates (I’m guessing here) who apparently do not get the use of quotation marks or even the use of humor.

Boy Howdy do I know about Claymates!

I was assigned a concert review for Clay Aiken and Kelly Clarkson’s show in Winston-Salem a few years ago. Even though I didn’t give Mr. Aiken a bad review, the Claymates saw otherwise. They came out in full force. I got a Rosie O’Donnell’s ass load of hate email about my review.

It also seemed that my review made it around the country because I was getting hate emails from all around. Yes. Middle-aged women around the USA with nothing else better to do but writing me about our differing opinions.

I even had one woman take it so far as to write a letter to the Editor of the Greensboro News & Record about it. She is a well respected veterinarian that seemingly loves the divas born with penises.

In my mind, if you take the time to write me a hate email and follow that up with a letter to the editor about my concert review of Clay Aiken… Then it becomes obvious to me that you’re life is lacking a little something. Perhaps A LOT of something.

By the way… I thoroughly enjoyed Ms. Clark’s portion of the evening. She was awesome!

But back to the site hits… I’m thinking of mention all the American Idols to see how many hits I can max out at… Sanjaya Malakar, Reuben Studdard (maybe not so many hits there), and for some reason… I’m having trouble coming up with more American Idols. I just don’t watch the show.

So with the couple of names that I’ve dropped… We’ll see how many hits I get today.

I tried watching The Amazing Race the other night with Kristina. I think that she only likes it because of her love for traveling. I only hold to that belief because to me, the show was like watching someone mow their lawn. There’s nothing but people running through airports, climbing their way up to observation decks high above the ground, and talking smack against their opponents.

Jeez! I was so happy when she fell asleep because I could finally turn it off and find something better on the television. I would rather be on the receiving end of some Chinese bamboo torture than watch another episode of The Amazing Race.

But during the course of the show, I shared perhaps a little too much about myself with Kristina…

On The Amazing Race, there’s a cute blonde dwarf teamed up with a cute tall blonde. And I sort of told her about my sexual fantasies involving little ladies (dwarves) and amputees. Why I told her? I don’t know.

Do I need to explain it?

I don’t think so.

2 comments:

  1. Brad K.1:14 PM

    The words Katharine McPhee naked might cause your numbers to go through the roof. Might also cause your site to crash because of the high volume of traffic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm thinking that the dwarf sex will be the keywords that bring in the most traffic.

    ReplyDelete