Thursday, July 19, 2007

Maroon 5 'It Won't Be Soon Before Long'

Well… I got a few requests to reprint the letter to the N&R Editor complaining about my concert review for Clay Aiken. I had put all my clippings away in a safe place. And apparently the place is SO safe that I can’t remember where I put all those things.

I’ve sent out a dispatch to a friend of mine who works there to see if he can locate one in their archives. Of course, he’s away in Asheville doing what married folks do there… Tours of the Biltmore and flower shows. But if I manage to find my stash before he gets back I will gladly reprint it. I’m guessing that I can’t find it because my aging mind is slipping.

Here’s another age signal…

When I got out of bed today… I started to notice something disturbing going on with my left leg. Well, it wasn’t that I noticed… It was like my left leg decided to wave a big white flag to let me something wasn’t quite right.

It felt like it had fallen asleep… All tingly and feeling a little numb from the left knee down. I looked for discoloration all over and under the toenails. If it’s purple under the toenails… That means there’s a circulation problem. There’s no swelling or anything like that. My leg isn’t stone cold. It has me incredibly perplexed.

When I said something to my parents about it, they said…. “Welcome to old age, son.” Their attitude was very comforting.

My mother went on and on about the parts of her body that haven’t been awake or they’ve been tingly since Billy Carter rolled out his first can of beer.

Oh, it was great stuff to them… It was like they were welcoming me into Club BenGay! My days of having a medicine like smell hovering around me like an invisible vulture are finally here. And pretty soon I’ll be yelling at children to keep out of yards and constantly saying “huh?” to everyone that talks to me. I may even start driving slowly with my left turn signal constantly flashing just to get used to the idea of my encroaching “Golden Years”.

My leg has been tingling or “asleep” for over 12 hours now. It feels just like the time I went to see the doctor about my tingling left arm.

I thought I was having a heart attack or something… And it turned out to be a damaged nerve. I had a rollover accident a few years ago and the only thing I got out of it was a nasty-ass bruise. That joker blackened, blued, and purpled about 5 square inches of tissue on my bicep. The doctor said that I sustained some nerve damage and the tingling may go away… Or not. Yeah… If it didn’t go away I would live the rest of my life with it.

My leg feels the same way. There’s no bruising and I don’t remember banging it on anything. The only thing that comes to mind is when my knee loudly popped last Monday. The sudden hurt made me limp and hobble around for about 5 minutes. As quick as it came on me, the pain vanished. I was walking normally again.

I’ll give it the weekend and if it doesn’t improve… I guess I’ll visit someone with a Medical License.

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