I just got back from Target. I don’t hate that place at all… Unlike the other place that shall remain nameless. I’ll get to the reasons why I don’t cotton to that other place in a bit… But I am getting a little irritated with Target.
Every time I go in there with something in mind… I wander around aimlessly looking for what I want. I’m pushing around a cart or I’m swinging my little red basket like a six-year-old with a string looking and looking. Sure, I look in the most logical places at first only to find that it’s somewhere else when I ask a clerk. And usually, it’s in some place that seems a little skewed for even my warped mind. Or perhaps that’s the problem?
For instance, I needed a new laundry basket. Mine has seen its share of duty over the last 10 years and its falling apart like 1973 AMC Gremlin.
So where do I start looking…. Hmmmm… How about near the detergents and household cleaning supplies area? That makes sense… At least to my puppy-like brain.
Nothing. I found Tide, Cheer, and Purex… I even found plungers, but I didn’t see any laundry baskets.
So I headed to the household section. I found things that suck, like vacuums… And I also found various items like CLOTHES HAMPERS, but I didn’t spy one single laundry basket.
Finally, I found a clerk and asked her, “Where in the honey baked hell (Yes, Jeff K… I use it frequently) are the laundry baskets?”
“Those can be found in the plastics section,” she said while pointing a finger in that direction.
“Plastics section?” I asked. “I don’t see any sign over a section with the word Plastics on it.”
“It’s the Household Storage section,” she said while blinking rapidly and keeping her finger pointing to that area.
I didn’t ask, but I thought to myself… Do people actually store laundry?
I quickly shook it out of my mind like sand from a shoe, grabbed my impulse item (a new pillow that I needed), got my laundry basket, snatched some Tide, and picked up a Gift Card for my sister’s birthday today. It took a little longer than I wanted and took off about a mile’s worth of shoe leather… But I got my laundry basket that I need for the next 10 years and I’m all good, baby.
The other night, I hit the “other place” that I don’t like with my friend Robin. She needed to lay in some supplies and that “other place” was close. Once we arrived, I explained to her my fears and apprehensions about the place… She said, “Lets go to Target… It’s just right over there.”
I decided that I needed the experience and for fun, I could check off a few items from Jeff Kay’s Game found here at The West Virginia Surf Report. There’s absolutely no thrill like seeing a Dale Earnhardt sticker on a neck brace, let me tell ya.
Of course we were in the most dangerous location of them all… Wendover. And luckily, I only heard 2 gunshots ring out through the parking lot during the walks to and from my truck Roxy. (I’m kidding folks… No gunshots. Just the sounds of people gurgling with their necks slit open.)
All right… Here’s what I detest about the place…
First of all… Why is there so much gum littering the entrance ways?
Gum is all over the pavement. Gum is all over the entrance carpet inside. Are most of their customers too excited about entering their “hallowed” aisles that they simply cannot keep gum from falling out of their mouths? What is the frackin’ deal, man?
Secondly… The usual customers apparently think that they are the only people in the store. Oh sure, it’s crowded as hell, but some people seem oblivious to the fact that others are in fact sharing the same 50 square feet of space. They’ll come to an abrupt dead stop in the middle of a busy aisle to look at the latest DVD from Larry The Cable Guy. I’ve witnessed some people actually leave their carts in a busy aisle to look at something 10 feet away. Do these usual customers not think?
And thirdly… Why does this place have to cram everything they can into the busy aisles that I’ve been talking about?
The aisles may be about 10 feet wide, but once you unload 4 pallets of Fiddle Faddle into the middle… There’s only about 2 feet clearance on either side. Ample enough space for the usual customer to leave their cart unattended and in the way while looking for that perfect Grave Digger necktie.
Jeez… I absolutely HATE going there.