Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Prince 'Batman' Soundtrack with 12" B-Sides mix tape by Eugene B. Sims


This is another blog entry where I have nothing… NOTHING!!!

What’s up with that?

My buddy Jonathan Everett once posted a comment about something I did when I was a teenager… Kitty Commando. So I think I’ll write something about it.

I remember seeing Bobcat Goldthwait’s comedy stand up when I was an impressionable teenager. In his routine, he talked about hunting and especially those guys who hunt things on reserves. He didn’t think it was fair while other animals are much more difficult prey. Bobcat said that people should hunt things that are difficult to track and kill… Like cats!

So that gave my sorry ass an idea…

I used to have one of those motorized water machine guns. You know… The kind that would shoot several blasts of water at least 25 feet.

Our cats were more or less indoor cats and I decided to “hunt” them with my motorized water machine gun. And being influenced by the onslaught of action films back in the early 80’s… Commando, Rambo, and all those Chuck Norris Missing In Action flicks… I broke out the camouflage fatigues and put on some burnt cork to add some dark to my face. I had to get into character, so to speak.

I would then start stalking the unsuspecting cats.

I would crawl around on my belly until I found them sleeping peacefully. And out of the blue… A blast of water right at them! They would spring up from their prone position and high-tail it to safety.

The cats would take off into hiding and that’s when the fun would begin. Bobcat was right! They were difficult to track because they’d find small little places to hide in. When you would pass them, they would bolt out behind you to find refuge somewhere else.

I would then leap over furniture, land on my belly, and fire off several blasts of water as they ran from me. It was all very exciting and funny… Unless you were one of our cats… Billy or Jordie.

Anytime after that… Whenever the cats would see me wearing fatigues or holding that water machine gun, they would take off into hiding. Any other time, they didn’t think twice about my presence. They would continue doing what cats do… Sleeping and licking. Always with the licking.

Kitty Commando didn’t last too long… The cats and I would end up breaking furniture or things that decorated the house like vases and knick-knacks.

I tried it a couple of times outside where the cats had plenty of escape routes until the neighbors gave me weird looks that said… "What in the HELL is that stupid boy doing?”

Yeah, I guess the neighbors thought it was pretty weird that some teenage kid would dress up in fatigues, paint his face with burnt cork, and chase cats around with a mechanized water gun.

3 comments:

  1. i'm not gonna lie. that Batman soundtrack used to be one of my favorite tapes ever.

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  2. Sharon Gray2:46 PM

    Note to myself: Add Eugene Sims to the DO NOT ADOPT TO list!!!

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  3. Sharon... I don't do that anymore. I love cats! And remember... I was a stupid teen.

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