Tuesday, October 23, 2007

JoJo 'High Road'

For those of you that know me… I have a question for you. Am I uncouth?

I sat down at Natty Greene’s with a couple of coworkers by the name of Josie and B-Ware… I ordered a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon wine. I thought Josie was going to go all NASCAR on me and throw a rod. B-Ware wasn’t all that surprise because quite frankly… He knew there was alcohol in red wine. And I’m all about some alcohol, folks.

So what does Josie do? She gets out her camera phone to snap a picture of me sipping on some red wine. It’s not like I’m John Waite from The Babys sipping a glass of wine in front of a rock n’ roll crowd saying, “This is to you, Greensboro.” No… I was looking for something to enter my bloodstream quickly and get me feeling good.

Terrie Knight joined us later to also give us her surprise about Eugene drinking red wine.

Mother krunk! I was starting to get a complex. Am I really perceived as a cultureless clod?

So I did the only thing I knew to combat the perception… I drank to excess. I figured that I had to uphold some kind of image… Wrong or right.

--I spent most of the day driving around Winston-Salem and I must say that I don’t like driving around in Winston-Salem. The roads are all screwed up. It seems that most of the roads were either laid down with asphalt by following cow paths or they were drawn out by drunkards. The roads all wind around seemingly going around in circles. I’ve spent many a lost afternoon driving around and around until I can find a nearby highway. And that’s the only saving grace in Winston-Salem… If you get lost… It doesn’t matter because sooner or later you’re going to run into either I-40, Business 40, or Highway 52.

Don’t EVEN get me started with a certain area called “5 points”. I’ve been through that intersection at least 100 times and I still manage to get screwed up by taking the wrong path… Including today’s little outing.

It goes without saying that I loathe driving around in Winston-Salem. Even while my friend Kim was driving me around on Broad Street… I couldn’t keep up with where Broad St. was going. It was nothing but curves and twisty turns. Riding along with her in the passenger seat was much like riding around in the “Teacup” carnival ride. There was no point on trying to get a fix on the road. It was hopeless. Turn left… Turn left… Turn right… Dodge the stray cat… Watch out for the hippie… Stop at the light… Go straight and take a left at the picket fence.

Jeez… I hate driving around in Winston-Salem.

And the stop lights?! They last longer than it takes for someone to get cancer screening results back. AND they’re just as unnerving! The wait for a green light drives me crazy.

I’m sure all the folks in Winston-Salem can say the same sort of thing about the traffic in Greensboro… But they’re wrong. Yeah! I said it! Winston-Salem roads and traffic sucks.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry about your driving around Winston, but how was your lunch?