Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Heaven & Hell 'LIVE Radio City Music Hall 2007'

Today’s musical choice was a damn good one! Heaven & Hell are basically a reconstituted Black Sabbath and this live recording serves as sort of a “greatest hits” collection.

Growing up as an awkward lad with a “weird” sense of humor… I usually had no girlfriends. I just more or less stayed at home listening to music. And I forgot how much I enjoyed Black Sabbath during the Ronnie James Dio years… Albums like ‘Mob Rules’ and ‘Heaven And Hell’ spent some hours on my turntable. You know, that ancient device utilizing a diamond stylus that picked up recorded sounds from the grooves on a piece of vinyl… Don’t remember them?

I had forgotten songs like “Children Of The Sea”, “Mob Rules”, and the powerhouse that sticks in your brain kind of song… “Voodoo”.

It’s a damn good album and I can’t wait to see my DVD version of it!

Anyways… I found something interesting driving in to work this afternoon.

For those of you who wanna get ripped while getting the healthy antioxidants found in Green Tea… Check this out.

That’s right! You can get bed-soiling drunk while protecting yourself from cancer, easing symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis, lowering high cholesterol levels, keeping cardiovascular disease in check, and boost your immune system functions. My friends… It is indeed a great time to be alive!

Who comes up with these ideas?

Is there room for Silk to put out their own soy-based cocktail?

Is Ovaltine working on improving the nutrients found in Mudslides?

Where will it end?

Can we develop alcoholic cheese that covers our nacho chips? What about getting Ranch dressings with at least 6.6% alcohol?

I can see it now…

“Hey Fran! How you doing today?”

“Don’t talk so loud, please. I’m a bit hung-over. I had WAY too many salads last night.”

I say screw stem cell research. Lets put our money and resources into developing healthier ways to consume alcohol! Once our nation becomes drunk on alcoholic Green Teas, Ovaltine, Soy milk, nacho cheeses, and Ranch dressings… We won’t care about such silly breakthroughs making diseases and afflictions obsolete.

Long live alcohol related health foods and drinks!

And here’s a nifty little picture from The Onion… NFL’s Most Popular Jersey for 2007!

Sorry this update is so short… I’m still feeling the tiring effects brought on me by this past weekend’s Summertime Brewsfest.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Various Artists 'D.I.Y.'

Yes… Another Summertime Brewsfest is over. I’m constantly amazed how 6 months of work goes into this 4 hour event.

My week leading up to the Summertime Brewsfest was filled with lots of busy hours. On some days… I didn’t even realize that I haven’t had lunch until my stomach started rumbling louder than usual. And on one day, I didn’t get time to answer the growling beast inside. I just toughed it out until it was time to go home.

I started off Saturday morning at around 9am with Weather Dave and Adam Korn. We were the backbone of “getting things” done and in order.

The Greensboro Coliseum Pavilion was cool as vendors and brewers starting showing up. Then as the day moved on and the public moved in… It started getting hotter. Actually… When 5pm rolled around, my shirt was soaking wet with my own sweat. I think that I took a leak around 10am and I didn’t have to do it again until around 11:30pm. I did my best to stay hydrated by drinking at least 2 twenty ounce bottles of water per hour. But throwing around kegs and 20 pound bags of ice tend to keep the sweat flowing. My shoulders are still a little achy today.

I did find something rather odd at this year’s Summertime Brewsfest… I kept seeing the nipples of women EVERYWHERE!

It wasn’t on purpose… I’m really not into getting my jollies by peering down women’s blouse.

For some reason, women that were wearing low cut shirts, blouses, and halter tops were bending over to pick things up in front of me all during the Brewsfest. And BOOM! There they were! Exposed breasts complete with their wonderful little friends; the nipples. It really wasn’t my fault! Once I caught onto what my perverted little eyes were doing… My brain would quickly slap them and I’d get back to business at hand. I’m only a flesh and red-blooded male… I am weak.

I went back to our base of operations (Summertime Brewsfest Souvenir Booth) and told Mitch, Adam, and Bryan that I had seen more nipples than on the infant aisle at Toys R’ Us. Amazingly, they all agreed to follow me around whenever I went to fetch something or take care of whatever fire popped up.

And it even got better a little later…

I was standing around talking with someone from the American Red Cross (the charity the Brewsfest was benefiting) when this tiny and attractive woman came up to me. She introduced herself at “Kelly” and I introduced myself as The Self-Proclaimed…

“…Bad Boy of Rock 92!” she shouted as she finished my sentence. Then she said, “Look at this,” as she pointed to a temporary tattoo between her breasts.

The lady from the American Red Cross had decided to high-tail it away from me at this point. And the slightly inebriated “Kelly” leaned in closer to me and pulled her shirt down and out. She showed me everything from her neck to her navel and promised to send me pictures of herself in various states of undress. At which point her husband walked up and said, “She’s got some hot pictures too!”

What do you say when these things happen?

She broke the ice as she asked, “Does this mean I get a T-Shirt?”

As it turned out… She was sent my way by the guys manning the Souvenir table. They thoroughly enjoyed seeing my reaction to “Kelly’s” T-shirt request and I have to admit that I enjoyed it as well.

For the record, I haven’t received any pictures from “Kelly”. Oh well… There’s something to be said about sobriety. I’m sure she forgot all about it once alcohol levels started dropping in her bloodstream. She did score herself a T-shirt.

Sorry… But no matter where you work in the rock n’ roll business… A woman shows her breasts to you… She deserves a T-shirt.

I ended up working for about 14 hours on Saturday… And I felt bad about not hooking up with a friend of mine when she went out celebrating her birthday. I was just too sweaty, smelly, and tired to even entertain the idea. Plus… Even though I was in a relatively decent mood… I’m sure it wouldn’t have taken too long for it to sour as my waking hours continued into the early morning.

When it’s all said and done… The Summertime Brewsfest was successful for a third year. It was great seeing some of you out there too! I hope to see you again next year.

Here’s a T-shirt that I found there that I can easily agree with…

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Cars 'Panorama'

Last night… I wrote a blog telling you about how excited that I was about seeing an episode of Rescue Me as it was being broadcasted on FX…

Well… Let me TELL you… It was a very uneventful experience. It was as thrilling as sitting at home on a Saturday night plucking the lint from your navel.

I guess I expected all kinds of excitement. It just didn’t happen. As a matter of fact, it was very much unexciting. First of all, I had to wait out all the damn commercials. Sh*t! It seemed like there were 5 minutes of commercials until we got back to the trials and tribulations of Tommy Gavin. There’s only so many times I can see commercials about a “Man’s Man” diet plan until I want to choke a kitten. Maybe I’m exaggerating here… But I KNOW that I was digging my thumbnails into my wrists waiting out all those paid advertisements. DAMN!

I’m sorry. I guess I need that instant gratification of seeing one episode after another on DVD as opposed to seeing them as they air. The commercials were a f’ing buzz kill.

And it’s funny… I don’t even remember what happened on the show. I know there was an AA meeting along with rodents running around, but that’s about it. And it seems that Tommy Gavin spent some time in the Priest’s side of a confessional… But that’s about all I remember.

Seriously… Watching it as it was being broadcasted was an extreme letdown. I haven’t felt this letdown since FOX cancelled Malcolm In The Middle.

And here’s something that I couldn’t believe…

I subscribe to the Greensboro News & Record. I opened up my issue of ‘Go Triad’ this morning and find an announcement for the Best of the Triad voting. And I starting thinking to myself… “Cool! I wonder if I’ll be fortunate enough to get a second Best Blog of the Triad award.”

Hell… I didn’t expect the first one, but I had hope of a second.

But guess what?

They have eliminated that category from the voting. Yeah! The tablecloth has been pulled from my table and all the dishes, utensils, and food have spilled all over the floor.

First of all… I didn’t think anyone read my little rants and raves. I didn’t campaign for it and I managed to beat out FAR better blogs. Blogs that actually have something to say. Blogs that actually tell you something, keep you informed… The blogs that matter.

On the positive side… I can at least say that I went out on top. I won the last Best Blog of the Triad award.

Oh well… Get me another Natty Greene’s Old Town Brown.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Non-Conformist Cult Radio Show 7/2/04 - 7/9/04

This week, I’ve been busier than a fly at a hog farm. I haven’t really had the time to devote to this little blog of mine. But the good news… This blog may be a featured item on Rock 92’s, years in the process, new and improved website.

Right now… You can go to the website, click on the contact us page, and search for the link at the bottom of that page. It’s more or less an afterthought on the Rock 92 website.

If you frequent my blog on a regular basis through the website… Thank you! Your traffic is making it possible. You have my gratitude.

I’m a little excited about tonight’s episode of Rescue Me. Not because it’s a great show…. It’s because this marks the first time that I’ll watch it as it airs. Is that a crazy reason to be excited?

Don’t judge me too harshly.

I am loving Rescue Me! It’s possibly the greatest “firemen” show ever. It’s sure as hell better than Emergency!. That show is like the Teletubbies compared to Rescue Me.

One of the things I love about it… Just about everyone on the show is dysfunctional in some sweet way. And when you think the characters can’t sink any lower… The writers come up with something juicy.

There’s a character named Maggie… She’s a raging alcoholic and bitchy as hell. For some strange reason, I have a thing for women on the dark side of bitchy. So she appealed to me right out of the gate. And I remember looking and looking at her. Who is this actress playing Maggie?

When I finally let the credits roll… It’s DVD… I hit the menu button and order another episode usually… But I had to find out who this actress was. Guess who?

Tatum O’Neal

Yes! Cute little Tatum O’Neal has grown up to appear on a wonderful series drinking and whoring. I totally love the twist! What a way to shed an image. I’m sure her daddy is proud.

If you haven’t seen Rescue Me and the idea of watching F’ed up people doing F’ed up things appeals to you… Give it a try! So far on my Netflix, I’ve rated every season with 5 stars.

Well, that does it for me sports fans. I’m out. With all that’s going on with the Summertime Brewsfest… I’m a little tired.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

David Bowie 'Young Americans'

I prepared things fantastically for the Vince Neil / Quiet Riot / Slaughter show last night at the Greensboro Coliseum.

Top of the list of prepared things… My friend Kim’s arrival.

No offense meant towards Kim… She runs late. That’s just her and I accept it. And last night, I planned for her little quirk… I had told her to meet me an hour before I really needed.

During the afternoon, she called me to ask… “Are you sure you wanna meet at 5? That’s like 4 or 5 hours before it starts!”

You can easily see the roots of her little quirk… The show starts at 7:30. Not 9 or 10.

I also explained that it would be cool to sit and have a few drinks at the Lone Star bar before the show. Beer would flow down my gullet, Ginger Ale with cranberry juice down her throat, and there would be much conversation. Mostly about music and our fiasco filled love lives.

At about 5:20... I sent Kim a text message informing her that she was only 20 minutes late. She eventually arrived at 5:50 and according to the sands in the Kim’s Quirk Hourglass… There were 25 minutes left. Enough time for Kim to have a drink and check out Doug’s (the guy I met sitting next to me at the bar) talon-like corn chip toenails.

Doug is the perfect argument against men wearing flip-flops in public.

We left at 6:15 for the Greensboro Coliseum. I wanted to get there early so that I could meet friends and family in the Carlisle Club for drinks. We were greeted by my sister Tina, her husband Richard, and my brother in-law Kevin who were already parked at the bar. Later we were joined by Bradford “Hinzy” Hines and Karla .

We heard the sounds of Slaughter starting up and Kim hit the arena to take them in. Tina, Richard, and Kevin had left a few minutes before hand… But Hinzy, Karla, and I stayed in the Carlisle Club just to keep bending our elbows.

Hinzy and I can continue saying that we have never seen Slaughter perform live with an added wrinkle… We were once in the same building where we could’ve seen them perform.

If that’s not pretentiousness, then I don’t know what is. Just a little something to add on to this Rock Critic’s resume’.

Kim came back into the Club right after Slaughter finished up their short set with “Up All Night”. I finished up my Guilford Golden and ordered another before Kim and I headed to our seats. That’s where we found Rock 92 / 1075KZL salesperson, Matt Sides .

Quiet Riot hit the stage with the first strains of “Metal Health” before going into one of their other songs… It was a nice tease. But I couldn’t help noticing that Kevin DuBrow… QR lead singer with a balding head… Had a full head of lovely blonde hair!

He claims that he has never worn any wigs… But after seeing him last night strutting around in what appeared to be a wig from the Rod Stewart ‘Blondes Have More Fun’ collection… I’d say that was a wig.

Here’s a few shots taken with my camera phone: One of Quiet Riot on stage…

I’m sure you can’t make anything out… And here’s one of the sparsely populated Greensboro Coliseum right after Quiet Riot ended their set…

The BIG surprise of the night!

I found out that Frankie Banali is still alive!

For some reason, I thought he had died from a brain tumor or something like that. Lets just say that for me… It was like Frankie Banali had risen from the grave… It was like I had seen a ghost! I leaned over to Kim and shouted in her ear, “I thought that joker was DEAD?!”

After their set, we strolled back into the bar again. Hinzy and Karla were there… I brought up the “Frankie has risen” bit. I seriously thought he had been dead for many years. Oh well… I hit the bathroom.

And here’s the night’s weirdness…

I walked in and I could tell the stall was occupied. No matter… The urinal had no line and was ready for walk-up action. So while I’m standing there lessening my bladder… I can see shadows moving around on the floor and the wall. I could also hear the slapping meat sound of arms being drawn to the guy’s side. I mean… WTF???

It was like the guy was doing some Olympic style of urination in that stall… Because I’m not sure, but I think he did a back flip too! I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a pummel horse in there with him.

When I got back to the bar… I informed Kim, Hinzy, and Karla about what just happened in the bathroom. And I had to see what that guy looked like!

Here’s a picture of him sitting across the Club’s bar… He’s in the white shirt…

We all took off to meet Quiet Riot after a few more rounds were ordered. The band was meeting fans in the concourse area after their set and Kim is all about some photo-ops with rockers. Me? I didn’t care one way or the other… Except I did want to get a closer look at Frankie Banali. I wanted to see how well the Zombification looked on him. Because I was sure he was dead! Could it be that he was undead?

Kim got a phone call concerning her ill father… And since I had driven… I had no choice but to take her back to her car. So I missed Vince Neil’s set.

It was no big deal… I had seen his solo act before and wasn’t impressed. There was no need to see it again. And I called it a night.

Whew! That was a long update, wasn’t it?

That should make up for my lack of updating over the past week. If not, contact the Blogger’s Union.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Led Zeppelin (Box Set) Disc 3

I received an email today with the subject line of “Damn it”. It was from a friend and regular reader of this here blog of mine. I opened it to find a very simple message… “Write another blog”.

I must tell you… I’ve been busy. REAL busy. I’m even considering the Otis Campbell method of dealing with all the pressures that’s been put upon me. I feel like getting stumble-happy drunk during this weekend.

Am I going to do it?


The last time I got that stumble-happy drunk, I felt the way that Keith Richards looks… Not very good.

I am looking somewhat forward to the Vince Neil/Quiet Riot/Slaughter show happening tomorrow night at the GSO Coliseum. The last time I saw Mr. Neil… I covered the show for the Greensboro News & Record. In my concert review, I said that Neil was as “exciting as watching Jell-O sweating in the hot sun”.

I’ve seen Motley Crue in their heydays… And I’ve seen them on that last tour. They were always good. Neil sans the Crue? Sucky, sucky! It was like he was there only to make a mortgage payment.

Who knows… Perhaps he’ll surprise me tomorrow night.

I’ve never seen Quiet Riot, so I don’t really know what to expect. I don’t even know what the band’s lineup is these days. Will Rudy Sarzo be on bass? Will Tommy Aldridge be the guy on the drums?

There’s no telling what’s going on with Quiet Riot and yet I’m somewhat interested in seeing them. Hell… I’m just wondering what kind of wig singer Kevin DuBrow will be sporting. I know one thing for sure… The wig will be 100% devoid of his own hair.

Why he doesn’t just embrace his baldness, I will never know. I’m more or less interested in just seeing who shows and who blows.

Sure… It was pretty much mandatory that I had to get Quiet Riot’s first album, ‘Metal Health’ because I was all about some hard rock then. That’s all I was listening to back then. They had a hit with Slade’s “Cum On Feel The Noize”. My friends had no idea that it was a cover until I pulled out a copy of Slade’s version .

Then when Quiet Riot did another Slade song… “Mama Weer All Crazee Now” on their second album, ‘Condition Critical’… I simply dismissed QR as untalented hacks. Sure… Slade were cool, but there’s a point when you should stop stripping the meat from a corpse’s skeleton.

It was like they were a big time tribute band with a major recording contract preying on the stupid Americans that didn’t know the bubblegum goodness of Slade. I was disgusted and never purchased ‘Condition Critical’. I was done with Quiet Riot.


I don’t care for… PERIOD! I’ve never really dug those cats. And lately for some strange reason, “Up All Night” has been a rotating staple on the jukebox that constantly plays in my head. Mark Slaughter’s voice is just WAY too high to enjoy. And there’s the fact that the song lyrics are simple and meaningless. Slaughter are like “Poison lite”.

I didn’t mean to get off on my pretentious rant about hard rock, but I really have nothing to write about.

Something else I’m looking forward to is how little women will be wearing tomorrow night. Hard rock tends to bring out the tramp in every woman, so I’m looking forward to seeing lots and lots of skin. It’ll be good people watching and if it’s possible, I will snap some shots with my camera phone.

Well folks… I’m out.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Prince 'Batman' Soundtrack with 12" B-Sides mix tape by Eugene B. Sims

This is another blog entry where I have nothing… NOTHING!!!

What’s up with that?

My buddy Jonathan Everett once posted a comment about something I did when I was a teenager… Kitty Commando. So I think I’ll write something about it.

I remember seeing Bobcat Goldthwait’s comedy stand up when I was an impressionable teenager. In his routine, he talked about hunting and especially those guys who hunt things on reserves. He didn’t think it was fair while other animals are much more difficult prey. Bobcat said that people should hunt things that are difficult to track and kill… Like cats!

So that gave my sorry ass an idea…

I used to have one of those motorized water machine guns. You know… The kind that would shoot several blasts of water at least 25 feet.

Our cats were more or less indoor cats and I decided to “hunt” them with my motorized water machine gun. And being influenced by the onslaught of action films back in the early 80’s… Commando, Rambo, and all those Chuck Norris Missing In Action flicks… I broke out the camouflage fatigues and put on some burnt cork to add some dark to my face. I had to get into character, so to speak.

I would then start stalking the unsuspecting cats.

I would crawl around on my belly until I found them sleeping peacefully. And out of the blue… A blast of water right at them! They would spring up from their prone position and high-tail it to safety.

The cats would take off into hiding and that’s when the fun would begin. Bobcat was right! They were difficult to track because they’d find small little places to hide in. When you would pass them, they would bolt out behind you to find refuge somewhere else.

I would then leap over furniture, land on my belly, and fire off several blasts of water as they ran from me. It was all very exciting and funny… Unless you were one of our cats… Billy or Jordie.

Anytime after that… Whenever the cats would see me wearing fatigues or holding that water machine gun, they would take off into hiding. Any other time, they didn’t think twice about my presence. They would continue doing what cats do… Sleeping and licking. Always with the licking.

Kitty Commando didn’t last too long… The cats and I would end up breaking furniture or things that decorated the house like vases and knick-knacks.

I tried it a couple of times outside where the cats had plenty of escape routes until the neighbors gave me weird looks that said… "What in the HELL is that stupid boy doing?”

Yeah, I guess the neighbors thought it was pretty weird that some teenage kid would dress up in fatigues, paint his face with burnt cork, and chase cats around with a mechanized water gun.

Monday, August 13, 2007

King's X 'Out Of The Silent Planet'

Have you ever made a silly mistake without having any knowledge that you were making that mistake?

It happened to me today.

Yep… I went to the Home Depot to score some supplies for the upcoming Summertime Brewsfest. I happened to be wearing a Rock 92 Bubbalympics T-shirt. And that was my mistake.

It wasn’t because the shirt was offensive or anything… My mistake was wearing an orange T-shirt to the Home Depot.

I hit the first Depot over on S. Elm-Eugene Street. I walked over to the area I needed to be and started loading up towels. A lady woman came up behind me and asked, “Excuse me, but where can I find extended paint rollers?”

I turned around and asked, “What?”

“Where can I find extended paint rollers?”

“Oh,” I said and pointed down the aisle. “They’re right down there.”

Kojak didn’t get the orange shirt bit yet. I actually thought she could have been trying to pick me up… Hey! I’m entitled to dream. And you guessed it… She went down the aisle looking for her extended rollers without any further conversation or need of my attention.

I just wondered what that was all about as I took my items to the cashier.

Then I motored over to the Home Depot over at Brassfield to pick up the few more items that I needed because I had purchased all they had on S. Elm-Eugene.

I got my items and realized that I couldn’t carry them all at once. I needed a shopping cart to wheel them to the front and to the Nissan. I grabbed a nearby cart that was unattended when a guy came up to ask me where… I can’t even remember what he asked me about because I am unfamiliar with such “manly” things.

“I’m sorry… I don’t even know what it is your talking about,” I said.

“Don’t you work here?” he asked with a slight irritation in his voice.

“No. What ever gave you that idea?” I asked just as I noticed the orange T-shirt sleeve while putting my items into the shopping cart. “Jeez… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that I was wearing orange… No. I don’t work here.”

He was cool about it and then I realized why the lady asked me about extended rollers. I felt like a bit of a dumb ass.

But I wondered if Tony Stewart fans get the same kind of attention when they wear their orange souvenir NASCAR T-shirts. I’m sure that since his sponsor is the Home Depot… His T-shirts must be orange.

And another thought occurred to me… What if I went into a Home Depot with a recording device, my orange T-shirt, fielded questions from unsuspecting shoppers, and gave them weird answers? Or just started talking about weird stuff like health problems? Or girl troubles? Or simply start weeping when asked a question?

I’m digging the possibilities.

And there’s a new number one MySpace friend… Say hello to Daphne!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Elton John 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road'

Guess what?

I haven’t knowingly consumed any sugar for almost a week now. That’s right… I’m trying to get that sugary-high fructose corn syrup monkey from running up and down my spine. I am trying to eat a little better. Trying to keep junk out of my system. It hasn’t been easy and it definitely ain’t happening overnight.

Since I was a little kid… I remember my dad telling me that one day I’ll regret eating all the junk that I ate. And that I’ll wish that I had eaten better. My stance was this… I’m going to abuse my body until if and when I reach my fortieth birthday.

I’m closing in on 41 and those chickens are coming home to roast, roost, or whatever they do. I rarely eat any fried foods anymore. And I figured getting sugar out of my diet would be a good thing.

I’ve been eating things like lettuce and tomatoes. I’ve been trying some of those things that I’ve always hated. But tomatoes just aren’t doing it for me. I simply don’t like them. They suck. And they taste very “real” to me.

Can I describe “real” to you?


After a few days, I was telling my friend Kristina about the deletion of sugar in my diet… She asked how I was feeling now that I’ve been off sugar. I didn’t feel any different.

I still don’t feel any different. Am I supposed to? Should I be able to lift Oldsmobiles over my head by now? Should I be able to see through walls? What should feel different to me?

The only thing that has been different is this… When I get hungry… I will get the shakes until I eat something. Yeah… I can hold out my hands and they’ll shake like paint mixers in slow-motion. And I will feel a little weak and sickly until I get something in my belly.

Next on my list of things to retry and see if I like them now… Bananas. I hear that bananas are like some kind of potassium laden wonder fruit. And I worked with a guy named Paul that was a office supply delivery guy like me… He could work circles around everyone. He was like a silver-haired white tornado… Nothing but energy. And that mofo was in his 70’s! All he ever ate in the mornings and afternoons… Bananas.

I miss regular Coke. I suppose I will get used to Jim Beam mixed with Diet Rite cola.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 'The Jerky Boys'

Today… I got one of the biggest thrills of my life. A thrill that can be only compared to one thing… An ugly troll, like me, that’s able to make love to one of the most beautiful women on the planet… That’s the kind of thrill that I got today.

Ronie Alexander worked some serious mojo and managed to score me the prettiest girl in the world… And I didn’t even have to pay for dinner… Or get her drunk… Or promise my undying devotion… She got Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons of KISS to cut me a liner for my radio show!

That’s right! Gene Simmons actually says MY name! I’ve been on Cloud 9... No! Scratch that! I’ve passed the ninth cloud. I’ve been on Cloud 13 all frackin’ damn day!

I wish I had the know-how to put the MP3 right here on this blog… But I is ignorant. I don’t know how to do that kind of stuff.

Suffice it to say… I’m overjoyed!

Unless I’m able to spend the rest of my life with a woman that I truly love somewhere down this long winding road that leads to the open door of death… I think that I’ve reached my peak when it comes to happiness.

This KISS liner is like finding a $20 bill in my pocket while doing laundry… Except it’s multiplied by a million!

I haven’t been this excited since Jimmy Spencer (one of my favorite NASCAR drivers ever) won the July race at Daytona back in 1994. Yeah… He won me A LOT of money with that win and I was yelling at my TV like a mental patient with the drugs wearing off.

Okay… Enough geeking out for me.

Well… Maybe not…

I finished up the third season of Rescue Me and my jaw dropped during the last 3 episodes. They killed off one of my favorite characters!

But then again… Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) talks to the people that have died in his life… So it’s not like that character’s going away any time soon.

I just couldn’t believe it! It was TOTALLY unexpected!

At first… I was angry. And the only person that I could vent it out to was my friend Christine. She mocked me… Like all my good friends do… “But they killed off a likable character… That’s so cool!…” Then she went on and on about how much I like that sort of dark stuff when it comes to killing off characters… It’s true. I like that sort of stuff. It seems more real. But I didn’t want that character gone. I can also see the “after death” dynamics with the main character Tommy Gavin. So I guess it’s a win-win situation.

The current and fourth season of Rescue Me must be one helluva season!

The 3rd season ended with a big, BIG fire. I cannot WAIT to see what happens with that crap.

And that’s the beauty of watching stuff on DVD… Instant gratification! Since I’ve started taping the current season of Rescue Me and now I’m ready to get started on it… The instant gratification continues.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Non-Conformist Cult Radio Show 6/14/04

Man… I’m sick of this hot weather. I’ve never been a fan of summer… I’m a fall and winter kind of guy. The heat seems to make me wanna give up on life. It screws with my asthma. It’s oppressive. It’s smothering. At least, that’s the way it seems. When it’s cold, it seems like my body wants to live. It fights back with shivers and it just feels like it’ll do anything to stay alive.

And like my father used to always say… “I can put on enough to keep warm, but I can’t take off enough to keep cool.”

I haven’t seen my cat Monroe today. Since spring arrived, she’s decided to stay outside 24/7. And that’s not like her. She’s a lot like me… She’s never been a fan of the great outdoors. She hates the heat and when it snows, she won’t go outside at all. Suddenly, she’s changed all that. I’m thinking she has ulterior motives… Like dying soon.

Mo (as I call her), is 19 years old. That’s a damn good old age for a cat! So every time that I see her in the driveway, I’m surprised. I keep expecting NOT to see her, because you know what cats do when they get old, don’t ya?

They go off somewhere to die alone.

So of course… With not seeing her today… So far… I suspect that she’s fallen victim to her daddy’s (me) opinion… It’s so hot that you just want to die. Not that I could blame her.

I’ve actually thought about taking her on that last ride to have a veterinarian put her down, but I'm taking Kristina’s advice and I’m letting her exit life on her terms. Damn her and her reasonable thinking! I just didn’t want her going off on her own to meet her maker without really knowing what happened to her. Nikki did that and I didn’t like it. Sure… There’s no real sense of sadness when they do that, but I kind of wish I knew that she went peacefully instead of getting stuck in the tire tread of some dump truck.

Now that I’ve written it out… Maybe those cats are doing us a favor. The loss seems more tolerable.

All I know is this… I don’t really want anymore cats. Of course I write this knowing full well there will always be a cat in my future, but I really don’t want one. I've broken myself of “needy” dogs and I would like that feline monkey off my back.

Yeah… I’m totally over dogs. Why people want them…? I just don’t understand. They need someone to walk them. They want constant attention. They need bathing. You got to feed and water them. They have bad breath and they pant constantly. Their just as bad as children and who needs that?

Oh sure… They won’t embarrass you some day by working in the porn industry… Or God forbid, radio… But they’ll find their own way. Like when the Reverend comes over for dinner and the dog won’t keep his nose out of his or her crotch. Dogs will do that kind of crap. They don’t care.

And I work with a lot of people that bring their dogs to the radio station… I don’t mind at all. I just don’t make “friends” with the dog. I may speak to them, but I sure as hell don’t pet them. I treat them just like infants… They’re better off away from me. No fuss, no muss, and no attachments.

I can’t remember if I ever told this story… But here goes…

When I was a young lad, I remember asking my Uncle Grey why dogs went around sniffing each other’s butts… He sat down and told me a tale… So to speak.

Years ago… Before there were people… Dogs lived in towns and cities… They even had schools! And when all the dogs went to school, they would put their butt holes up on something like a coat hook.

One day… There was a horrible fire at the school. All the dogs panicked! They ran around in circles. They were afraid and when they fled the burning school… All the dogs just grabbed any butt hole they could find from the wall. And to this day, they’ve been looking for their own butt hole.

Ahhhhh…. That’s priceless. I plan on passing on Uncle Grey’s story.

I will keep you posted on Monroe.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 'Hot Rod'

I happened to be around the station this morning when Chris Demm starting talking about the NASCAR and Robby Gordon situation on this morning’s Two Guys Named Chris Show. I couldn’t help it. The anger over my favorite driver getting shafted by NASCAR caused me to burst into the studio to vent my frustrations out over the air.

If you didn’t see Saturday’s Busch Series race, then you missed one hell of an event. It was the first NASCAR Busch Series race in Montreal and Robby Gordon made it very memorable. I won’t go into details because I know a bunch of you couldn’t care less, but the bottom line is… ROBBY GORDON GOT SCREWED!

And not only did Robby get screwed on Saturday… NASCAR parked his ass for Sunday’s Cup race. NASCAR didn’t appreciate the fact that Robby felt wronged by their “at the moment” decision and decided to run the rest of the race his way.

Again, one of the many reasons I like the guy… He’s a hot head and he will buck the system. It may not have been the wisest thing to do, but he’s sure getting a lot of press. You know what they say… Any press is good press. Here’s a decent article if you choose to read it.

Mark my words… Robby Gordon is the type of driver that when he gets pissed off… He’ll be tough to beat the next race. And considering that the next race in both series is on a road course, I’m predicting a sweep. Robby Gordon will win both the Busch Series race on Saturday and the Cup Series on Sunday. He’s a road course “Ace” AND he’s pissed off… You read it here first.

Now to something that may interest you…

I am TOTALLY into season 3 of Rescue Me! Every time a disc arrives at my home, I try to get to it ASAP. The show just bets better and better while Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) and his cohorts get more despicable. The show keeps me in stitches.

I don’t know why… But I’m finding that movies on the DVD’s just aren’t doing it for me anymore. I’m thinking about hitting nothing but TV shows for a while. I don’t know… It just seems that my attention span won’t take a flick that runs about 2 hours. The TV shows last about 42 minutes for each episode that comes to some sort of conclusion. I must be going ADD.

I’ve got one more disc to go (arriving tomorrow, I hope) and I’ll be caught up to the current season in its fourth year. I have a few on tape and a bunch on the DVR. I imagine that I will be glued to my TV this Sunday morning trying to get all caught up.

Today’s musical choice is the soundtrack to the film Hot Rod. Upon first inspection of the track listing… I rolled my pretentious eyes when I saw a few songs by Europe on there. Remember them? “The Final Countdown”?

I thought they were EXTREMELY cheesy in the 80’s. When driving home listening to it today, I thought to myself… “Perhaps I was wrong about these guys”… The first song on there was more than tolerable. Hell! I even enjoyed it. I mean, John Norum was a hell of a guitarist and the chops in that tune were awesome. But then I got to the song “Cherokee” and my opinion was once again back in the “hater” category. That song still sucks!

If you’re allergic to hairspray, I suggest you keep away. If not and you enjoy cheese with distorted guitars, then feel free to check it out for yourself RIGHT HERE.

Monday, August 06, 2007

The Non-Conformist Cult Radio Show 6/4/04 - 6/16/04

I’ve finally knocked something off my “to-do” list that I have been putting off and putting off. And it’s one of the most simple and easy things that can be done… Thanking people for adding me as a MySpace friend.

I’ve gotten busy and when I get that way… I get lazy. That’s why I have to put it on my “to-do” list.

And speaking of MySpace… Check out my new number one friend of the week!

It’s Danny Fonorow!

Here’s the story with Danny…

I used to work at a huge record store in Greensboro… Peaches Music & Video on High Point Road. I would see hundreds, if not thousands of people every week. It was a great workplace for pretentious geek-fans of any kind of music. I was the resident hard rocker with the discerning ear… My passionate dislikes included Poison, Trixter, Bon Jovi, and Britney Fox. And I was fully embracing the alternative rock. It was burying the pretty boys with hairstyles so good that many women took in photos of hard rockers to show their stylist exactly what they wanted. Now, of course, I miss the hard rock of the 80’s along with their over-the-top kind of concerts.

I also found an appreciation for country music while working there… And I’m still fairly snobbish about that… I like GOOD country music. Not the drivel that fills the airwaves… Real heartfelt music that wasn’t part of the Nashville assembly line. Folks like Dwight Yoakam, Marty Brown, and Steve Earle.

I had a few customers that trusted my opinions. We would chat over time and get to know each other. It was basically a swapping of opinions meant to turn us on to different things.

I think the first time that I met Danny… He was like 10 years old. We hit it off right away. He was a diehard KISS fan since he was 4 years old. That warmed my dark little heart.

Danny would come in about every 2 weeks to purchase 2 cassette tapes. And in most cases, he would choose one of my suggestions. We would talk and talk about music while his parents patiently let him do his thing. I liked the guy and I didn’t treat him like a kid. His love for music and thirst for musical knowledge was greater than mine. I always looked forward to seeing him and I even made him a mix tape once.

Well, I left Peaches in the early 90’s and I lost touch with Danny. I always wondered what happened to him over the years, but I never imagined what I would discover one day.

I was doing a college radio show on WQFS (Guilford College Radio and my musical choice of the day is a tape of one of my shows) and there was this band’s CD in the rotation… They were Stickboy from Greensboro. It looked like it was right up my alley and so I listened to the first few cuts. IT WAS AWESOME!

I would play Stickboy songs every week. I went out and purchased the CD for myself. I even tried to see them play a couple of times, but my ex-fiancée refused to go. When I said that I’d go on my own… You would have thought that I was saying something like “Gonna go see Stickboy… Score some chicks… And bring you back a venereal disease just for kicks” to her.

So to keep the peace, I didn’t go to any of their shows.

All the jocks got an invite to a Grand Opening of a downtown recording studio. I was one of the few to take advantage of free beer and food. And when I was walking in… I noticed this guy that seemed real familiar. I searched my mind for any clue as to where I knew the guy, but nothing was coming.

Later that night… The guy was standing in the same conversation circle that I was in. Apparently he couldn’t take it anymore and asked, “Is your name Eugene?”

“Yeah,” I said. “And I know you from somewhere too… Is your name Kevin?”

I still don’t know where that name came from… But you know the rest… Yes. It was Danny!

We got to chatting and catching up when something came out that blew my fracking mind… He was the singer and one of the guitarists in Stickboy! My new favorite band!

How is that for weird?

And it seemed that I was responsible for a lot of the influences that contributed to the music he wrote and performed. So there’s no question as to why I loved Stickboy!

A short time later, Stickboy’s ‘Sings My Songs’ CD was the album that helped me deal with my ex-fiancée’s backstabbing maneuvers. ‘Sings My Songs’ is one of those great breakup albums. I found it very therapeutic.

Danny and I once again found each other. So drop on by and check out his MySpace page.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Tremors 'Invasion Of The Saucermen'

For some reason, I thought the DVD set from AC/DC called Family Jewels would be cool… But so far, I haven’t been impressed.

Netflix sent me one of the two from that set and the envelope said that it was disc 1. That wasn’t the case and I’m sure it’s not their fault. I’m pretty sure that some bonehead that rented it before me got both of them at the same time and just put them in the wrong sleeves.

The second disc had all the videos on it… So I just let ‘em play. And there was one thing that I noticed about AC/DC’s music… They are some cymbal crashing mofos!

Phil Rudd seemingly had some sort of twisted cymbal fetish. I never noticed until I saw the videos. And I’m willing to bet that one AC/DC song has more cymbal crashes in it than any 3 other rocks songs you’d like to compare it against.

Did I ever tell you that my Grandmother Pence sounds a lot like Brian Johnson when she sings?

I’ve been meaning to get her on tape singing “The Old Rugged Cross” for Rock 92 listeners, but I always forget to bring a recorder. And I’m not in church that much. If I knew that she had a sense of humor about it, I’d love to get her singing along with an AC/DC tune.

I’ve seen AC/DC more than a few times, but I never got to see them with Bon Scott. The one concert that comes to mind was November 17th, 1985. I went with my friend Renee’ and we had second row seats. IT WAS CRAZY!

At first, everything was okay… We had our seats and we were in a great spot for Yngwie Malmsteen who was opening up for them. But once Mr. Malmsteen left the stage… Everyone behind us started pushing forward. It was like a flash flood of people. I lost track of Renee’ until I heard her screaming my name. She was ahead of me and to the left about 12 feet. How she got there, I don’t know.

People started pulling apart the chairs and folding them up to get them out of the way. Renee’ finally made her way back to me because the security guys had had enough. They were yelling at folks and screaming at us. They were telling us that they didn’t care what our tickets had printed on them, if our asses weren’t in a chair, we were going to be pulled out and sent to the back.

Renee’ and I made our butts one with the only chair available… And just when they started pulling folks out of our row, the lights went dim. The show was starting and the security guys high-tailed it out of the pit.

It was crazy! It was hot! And it was violent!

A fight broke out right in front of us… There was this Marine who apparently went nuts for some unknown reason. His choice of punching bag was an unsuspecting wimpy longhaired guy. I tried to shield Renee’ from all this happening in front of us and managed to get a punch from the Marine on my right shoulder. The security guys didn’t want any part of it and the fight went on until the Police arrived.

That was the show that cured me of sitting as close to the stage as I could get. At least when it came to hard rock shows.

And I remember Angus Young’s Marshall Stack being louder than a jet engine. It was so loud that I couldn’t hear anything else even with my earplugs. Jeez!

I also remember bassist Cliff Williams putting down at least 18 beers in the two hours they played. I was very impressed!

One thing I got from AC/DC’s Family Jewels was seeing all the videos. Some that I had never seen before. But the one that really stuck in my mind… “You Shook Me All Night Long”. What was the deal with that video?

Sure… I can understand the busty blonde that Brian Johnson went to visit with a load of booze along with fish and chips. But when Johnson got there… She was riding a mechanical bull in lingerie. The wall behind her opened up to reveal AC/DC performing live. The band were surrounded by scantily clad women riding exercise bikes.


I don’t get it. Check it out for yourself and hopefully you can enlighten me.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

The Non-Conformist Cult Radio Show 10/12/01 B

Since the film 300 came out in the theaters, I had been wanting to see it. I tried to see it in the theaters, but it just didn’t happen.

On Thursday, I was to have dinner with my friend and frequent commenter on this here blog, Christine.

First of all, I had an incredibly turdy day… Everyone kept changing my plans for me. I didn’t get upset or anything like that, I simply let it roll off my back like flour on a duck’s back… Or something like that.

I did a bad thing… I pushed back the time to meet up with Christine so that I could wash away some of the day with the brews at Natty Greene’s. It seemed that some of the folks that I work with also had a day full of excrement. Doug, Heather, Weather Dave, and myself met up with friends for a few adult beverages.

I was supposed to meet up with Christine at 7 O’clock and when I finally looked at the time on my cell phone… I found that I was late. I gave her a call, downed the remainder of my alcohol, and hit the road.

We had ditched our original plan of meeting up at Barberito’s (did I misspell that?) and went with watching 300 at her place after grabbing some take-out.

Cool! I could watch the movie and take it off my Netflix queue. I would finally get to see it!

We grabbed some Golden Dragon and for the first time ever, I tried an egg roll. Surprisingly, I found it delicious. We fired up 300 and boredom quickly set in…

Visually, the film was stunning and eye-catching. But all that CGI stuff got old after about 15 minutes. Here’s a picture of me watching 300

The special effects were cool, but the film just fell flat on its face when it came to character development.

But if you’re looking for a new movie to play a drinking game with… 300 would be a good choice! Every time you hear the words “Sparta” and “Spartans”, take a big drink. Within the first 45 minutes you should be at the point where you no longer care how boring 300 is.

Bottoms up and happy viewing!

And on a rather sad note… I had no idea that the graphic novel (which I have read) and movie was based on an actual historical event. Yeah… I will admit my ignorance. After spending many hours watching as much of the History Channel that I have… How could I have missed this event?

Why didn’t I hear about it in school?

Perhaps it was due to one of the same reasons that I tired of 300… I got tired of hearing about Sparta and Spartans. Those A-holes were real gung ho about all that Sparta crap. There’s only so much of that proud type of brainwashing that I can take.

I still can’t wrap my brain around how I missed all that… Oh well… I’m having another Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat. And oddly, when you take a swig, it tastes like a mouthful of Post Fruity Pebbles.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Urban Dance Squad 'Life N' Perspectives Of A Genuine Crossover'

Have you been to my MySpace page lately?

At the first of every month, I change my profile picture. It’s usually something that should elicit a chuckle. And after dinner with a friend last night, we sat down and knocked out a few adult beverages… She suggested that I change my profile picture at least every other week.

I posted a bulletin asking what my MySpace friends thought. Overwhelmingly, they went with her advice as well. It seems that the “joke” wears off within 28 to 31 days. So I’ll be changing it every 1st and 15th of the month.

Today’s mail had something for me that I have been LONGING for… Disc 1 of season 3 of Rescue Me! I immediately put that bad boy into my DVD player and knocked out the first episode. I just had to get caught up on Tommy Gavin’s (Denis Leary) life.

And not to give anything away… There’s a BIG twist in the first episode. Did I mention how much I love this show?

I can’t understand why I wasn’t onboard with it when it first started running on FX. What in the hell was I thinking? How could I have missed such a damn fine show from the start?

I dunno.

And last night, my friend kept trying to get me to admit that I like reality shows. Sure, I’ve watched a couple of episodes of So You Can Dance and I’ve found it a much better product than most of that type of crap out there. But I have only watched it with her. So she asked, “Why don’t you watch it when you’re home? You like it.”

First of all, I watch television to escape reality. I want to see something made up and created for my entertainment. Sure, So You Think You Can Dance has it moments, but I don’t care about the participants. I don’t want to care. I just don’t see that many redeeming qualities to watch it on my own.

Tommy Gavin from Rescue Me… I care about. He’s haunted by ghosts, he has a drinking problem, and in general he’s a despicable human being. He’s interesting and entertaining. And he’s surrounded by those same types at the firehouse. There’s not a single episode where I’m not laughing.

If you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend it.

Well… That is all I’ve got today. I know that it’s kind of a weak update. I’m itching to get back to some Rescue Me. I want to finish that first disc tonight and get that joker back into the mail in order to get disc 2.

Again, it’s important to have goals.