Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Eagles 'Hotel California'

I want to write about the Zappa boys. Ahmet and Dweezil Zappa. And if you didn’t know, that is their real names. They have a sister named Moon Unit. They are the offspring of rocker/classical composer Frank Zappa.

‘Nuff said.

Personally… I’ve always felt that these boys are nothing more than a Goldmine of comedy. An oil well of never ending “yucks”. Playing an eternal home stand at the Rodney Dangerfield of dreams.

I can remember every single time that I’ve seen the Zappa brothers on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Just the thought of their past antics cause me to giggle out loud… Hell! I’m doing it right now as I write this.

Conan once had an ostrich (a man dressed in an costume) called “To-mar-ee” (I don’t know how it’s spelled) that laid eggs with the names of tomorrow’s guests inside of them. When laying the eggs, the ostrich made sounds comparable to those of a man birthing a bowling ball.

When the Zappa boys visited Conan… They were interviewed and requested to do a song with the Late Night Ostrich “To-mar-ee” along with the Max Weinberg 7. They performed a blistering cover of Rick Springfield’s “Jesse’s Girl” complete with Dweezil’s guitar pyrotechnics, Ahmet’s more than capable voice, and “To-mar-ee” dancing around while squawking his ass off.

By far… One of the strangest things that I have ever seen on Network television.

Until I saw them on again during the Holidays.

Ahmet told a story about his first encounter with Jolly Saint Nick. The story ended with Ahmet waking up to find his anus bleeding and Santa with his pants down. The word “anus” was bleeped out. The studio audience reported with mixed emotions… I laughed myself into tears as Ahmet sold the joke as a truly traumatic and life altering event. Sick? Yes. And then again, that’s my kind of humor.

I’m sure that they were on the show more times than I know about. But I have video from the glorious site known a YouTube! They’re only a few seconds long, but you will get the idea of why they make up some of the strangest things that I’ve ever seen on Network television.

Here’s the video setup ladies and gentleman…

The Zappa brothers are booked on the same show as John Tesh… Television host, entertainment reporter, actor, and new age music producing keyboardist. A well respected personality that seemed too reserved to step out of his public perception…

Dweezil on guitar, Ahmet singing and dancing like a crazed, string-less marionette, along with John Tesh on keyboards jamming out a cover of Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs” with the Max Weinberg 7.

In case you are unaware… “War Pigs” is a strong and serious statement about what was going on in Vietnam during the late 60’s. The song also bites into your eardrums… After all, it’s Black Sabbath.

It was just odd seeing the overly tall and lanky John Tesh jam out in positions reserved only for guys 20 times cooler. AND to a Black Sabbath song!

Throw in Ahmet dancing like poultry on a boneless chicken ranch…

Pure comic diamonds that cause me to smile and laugh every time I think about it.

Them boys are geniuses!

I hated when their Happy Hour karaoke game show was canceled and taken off the USA Network. That sh*t was funny!

Anyway… Here’s a few Zappa boys experience snippets with John Tesh:


  1. I use to have a crush on Dweezil when he was a VJ on Mtv probably some time after the one I had on John Taylor.

  2. You sound like a very smart woman... So don't make fun of my crushes concerning Kennedy and Julie Brown.