Friday, May 22, 2009

Fall Out Boy 'From Under The Cork Tree'

Another season of 24 has come and gone. It wasn’t as good as I had hoped it would be, but then again anything could’ve been better than the dismal season six.

The things I liked… The return of Tony Almeida who moved to the dark side. The return of Kim Bauer and her breasts. Agent Renee Walker’s bandage and of course… Madame President’s constant questions.

The season finale only produced 11 questions from Madame President. I was sadly disappointed. All the questions were asked in the final 30 minutes and there weren’t enough to get a drinking game going for real. But (!) I was thrilled to see her send her daughter up the fabled creek of solid waste without a paddle after she had Jonas Hodges blown in the back of an SUV (sounds dirtier than it really was).

The move to Washington didn’t really thrill me. It was cool to see some of the monuments in the background during the first few episodes, but after that, all warehouses and dingy streets look the same. Where were the Redskins?

I haven’t seen any ratings for this past season, so I don’t know how it’s holding up. Like most shows, I’m sure the steam driving the 24 roller is losing pressure. It’s only natural that folks drop off as the show becomes a little tiresome and formulaic.

Here are some ideas that I have to punch things up a bit:

Steal a group of villains from the cartoon series The Tick called “The Swiss”. They have everything they need in their giant Swiss Army knives. From personal helicopters to telescopes to tweezers. And like Die Fleidermaus, you’d never expect the Swiss being up to no good. After all, they’re neutral… Or are they?

How about a group of Mexican extremists who want to take over more than America’s service industry and construction?

I can hear Jack Bauer saying it now, “They’ve been hiding under our noses this whole time. THIS WHOLE TIME!”

Jack seems to repeat things at a high volume. Another example of the things I like about 24.

But my best idea involves the President…

A good ol’ boy Republican from Texas has been elected President. He’s a former Navy Seal who means business. He shoots from the hip and he’s not afraid to shout his point across with the military.

When some crap comes down the line and Jack Bauer swings into action, Mr. President gives him all the room he needs to get things done. He knocks down anyone that doesn’t want Bauer loosing his canon. If Bauer wants or needs it, The President damn well makes sure that he gets it.

Of course this leads to conflict with hand-wringing, politically correct Liberals that try to stop Bauer and the President from crushing the enemy. So while Bauer is doing his thing against the terrorists, Mr. President and former Navy Seal is slicing and dicing his way through counter-productive, spineless Government vegetarian greenies that are inadvertently letting the baddies continue with their devious takeover of America.

This President doesn’t want to sit in the Oval Office and let Bauer have all the fun during the two hour season finale… Oh no. He shows up with guns a blazing and a small army of the Secret Service (which includes Agent Aaron Pierce) providing cover.

“Wooooo BOY!” Mr. President shouts as he lands next to Jack Bauer in the dirt.

“Mr. President… What are you doing here?” Jack asks with a disbelieving look on his face. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

“Me and the boys here ain’t gonna let you be the only Belle at this ball,” Mr. President says as he grabs a grenade launcher. “Lets do some shootin’ and we’ll send those better life hungry hombres back over the Rio Grande on a Patriot missile! Woooo Weeeeee!”

It’s just an idea.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Spanic Boys 'Spanic Boys'

After a full day’s worth of writhing around in pain instead of visiting Ocracoke, it was time to pack up and leave for home.

We discussed checking out the Blackbeard artifacts at a Nautical Museum in Wilmington. I had some visions of spending a day and night there… Checking out the Blackbeard stuff by day and finding a cool watering hole by night within stumbling distance of lodging. Since we had to keep expenses down, we ditched the staying over and thought about leaving the Outer banks by way of Ocracoke. We’d take a ferry over to Cedar Island and drive to Wilmington. But we really didn’t want to spend 16 hours working our way home with that detour… So we ditched it entirely for perhaps another day.

Since I have to pack my bags for a week away (I’ll try to update while I’m gone), I’ll leave you with some of the pictures (the ones I snapped) from our trip.

We found a cool cemetery by the Pamlico Sound. I took some shots of the graveyard and some nearby fishers. And I took what turned out to be a great shot of Jamie in a replica hanger at the Wright Brothers monument in Kitty Hawk. I also took some of Jamie while we were taking our last look at the Atlantic Ocean.

Again, I’ll try to update during the next week… And as always, thanks for the visitation.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Replacements 'Tim'

Jamie and I settled in for Monday night in the early evening. Since we arrived on the Outer Banks, it had been rather chilly and with the wind… It was downright cold!

We were also there during what the locals call, the off-season. There weren’t a whole lot of things open… Like the local drinking/socializing establishments. So there wasn’t a whole lot for Jamie and I to do within walking range except for turning on the television.

There’s nothing like watching Chuck, 24, and Medium on the edge of the East Coast. Just being that much closer to the Continental Shelf made watching those shows all the more exciting.

Since we had spent our daily “mad money” at the Five Guys in Nags Head, we ate sandwiches in our room. We had packed away provisions before we left so that we could save money… After all, I don’t have a full-time job.

Before I prepared a sandwich, I opened up my cup of leftover French fries from Five Guys. Those jokers didn’t really “wow” me when they were hot and fresh, but they came alive with flavor cold and right out of the cup. They were so good, I didn’t even bother to heat them up. As a matter of fact, I ate them before I got that sandwich made.

Big mistake.

I woke up on that cold, rainy Tuesday morning with a horrible stomach ache. I begged Jamie to go out and find someone with a gun. Any kind of gun. Outdoorsy or police officer. I didn’t care as long as they were willing to put a pillow over my face and send the contents of my skull all over the floor. I just wanted to be put out of my misery.

We had planned to visit Ocracoke Island, but I didn’t leave the bed all day… That is until I broke my non-vomiting streak of over a decade.

Just when a good idea of putting something on my empty stomach popped into my head around lunch time… I got the urge to purge and made for the bathroom like a chubby and clumsy gazelle. I didn’t bother with the toilet… I pulled away the shower curtain and let those Five Guys fries loose right in the tub!

I pushed out the little bit of foul substance left in my belly, but my body wasn’t so convinced. I was dry-heaving like a mofo! My stomach had no more to give and I made noises like slaughtered animals while dry-heaving. Jamie came close to joining me just from the noise alone!

Throwing up didn’t really make me feel any better. I went back to laying on the bed to sweat or shiver or whatever my body wanted to do.

Jamie wanted to go to Pop’s for dinner, but I didn’t want to chance it. I still didn’t feel up to leaving the bed and spew chamber. I begged her to go and if I felt like eating something, I’d send her a text message.

After about an hour, I was feeling much better and asked for some grilled chicken. Little did I know that instead of going to Pop’s, she hit the Food Lion (where everyone working there now yells “WELCOME TO FOOD LION” at you when you walk through their doors… I hate that and have stopped going there) and picked up some broccoli, mashed potatoes, and rotisserie chicken. She had read my mind before I sent that message. What an angel!

I ate the delicious meal without any repercussions from the purge bugs that had apparently left my system. I was feeling better and started bitchin’ like always.

--For those new to this blog or for those confused… The title of each blog is my musical choice of day. It’s to give you a little more insight into my twisted tastes and it also shows that I have a mild OCD because of my musical rotations.

Tune in later for some pictures!