Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Black Stone Cherry 'Black Stone Cherry'

By some sort of definition, wouldn’t younger be compared to newer?

Younger people seem to move faster. They have tighter skin. They exhibit little to no signs of male pattern baldness. And they definitely metabolize great quantities of food faster.

Wouldn’t that also mean that their organs should be working at top efficiency?

Let’s take eyes for example.

You would think that teens and pre-teens with 20/20 vision could see where they’re going and what they’re doing in rooms with 50% all the way down to 20% worth of lighting.

Well… That’s simply not the case.

I’ve become like an almost sadistic prison guard in our home flipping switches to the down position and uttering the words “lights out” through grimaced teeth. And believe it or not, this also happens on a regular basis even during sunlit afternoons without a cloud in the sky.

What is so scary about a darkened hallway that they must turn on the hall light to walk three feet to a fully visible door knob (visible to even my 45 year old eyes), open that door, flip on that room’s light, and closing the door behind them? And why leave that hallway light on when they’re no longer using it?

Leaving the lights on is a constant battle that I must fight… Along with closing the toilet seat and lid, but that’s a different story for another time.

The other day I was walking to our bedroom when I noticed that the light in the master bath (connected to the half bath) was left on. As I flipped the switch and uttered my new catch phrase through grimaced teeth, I noticed that this bathroom had plenty of light with the lights off. There was a window providing more than ample illumination for a teen to find their junk, pull it out, and aim it at a clearly visible bowl. After all, we are talking about a beautiful Carolina day with blue skies and temperatures in the upper 70’s at around 3:30 in the afternoon.

Even if they were taking a shower… There was a plentiful amount of light in that bathroom. I learned where my junk was before I could walk and I can still find it in total darkness.

Judging from the neighbors across the street, fear of low light situations must be an epidemic in our American youth. I can always tell when that neighbor has her bi-weekly custody of the girls… The house is lit up like the Charlotte Motor Speedway during The Coca-Cola 600.

I tried working on the paranoia of Jamie’s youngest by telling him that if there’s a “bad” person lurking around outside, the more light you have on inside gives them the chance to learn the layout and case the joint of valuable electronics. The darker the home the better advantage he’ll have if and when that “bad” person gets inside. After all, he’ll know the layout a lot better than they do and that will give him a distinct terrain advantage to defend himself or hide.

It worked for the remainder of that evening, but I don’t think it’s going to take hold.

It was worth a shot.


  1. Anonymous8:14 PM

    I had to turn the lamp on in order to read this! I'll be sure and leave it illuminated so that you continue to feel needed dear. Love, Chigger

  2. I'm glad you know where your junk is at your age and that can find it in the dark...